


Colors

by Charanko



Category: Elsword (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:29:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 27,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9657500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charanko/pseuds/Charanko
Summary: [APxIS] Modern AU; Ain has been in nothing for so long, bedridden. Seeing nothing, feeling nothing. But things change when Elsword breaks him free...





	1. Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> [APxIS]; Modern AU; This one will be a long story with a lot of chapters~ I’ve been trying to think of a prompt in which I could write a long story with this pairing but I couldn’t think of any. So, instead of thinking of a new prompt, I’m using this one; this one was supposed to be for DiExIS. v-v I’m changing a lot of things and such. No lie, I think this is going to be tough. But I’ll try my best and I hope it’ll turn out okay;;;
> 
> About the Story: I’ll be using the transform classes. (DiE, IS, APOS, NW, VC etc.) For Rose, I will be using CR.

_Black._

_Gray._

_Drab._

_Dark._

_Silence._

_Nothing_.

            This is all what Ain saw, breathed, and lived every day.

            _Black._

_Gray._

_Drab._

_Dark._

_Silence._

_Nothing_.

            Over and over almost every moment, every hour, every minute, every second, and every millisecond.

            There was only a short moment where the nothingness paused in time. Everything would still be black and would still be dark but there was _something_ ; _someone_ with a beating heart.

            “...How are you doing today, Ain?” A voice asked, piercing through the empty chasm that lay between Ain and the world.

            “...Same as always...Elsword,” Ain stated mundane as he always did every day. He felt Elsword’s warm hand grasp his. Many bandages were taped on Elsword’s fingers. “...Did you get hurt...?” Ain tightened his hold but his grip was weak.

            “...It’s nothing to worry about. I brought your food. Are you hungry? I also bought some bread for you.” Ain heard Elsword rummage through his bag. Bread was then placed in his hand.

            “...Thanks...” Ain nibbled on the bread. It tasted sweet and fresh. Ain’s bandages soaked up tears that welled from his eyes. The doctors forbade both him and Elsword from taking off the bandages that covered his eyes. It had been about five to six years since he last saw the world.

Elsword would often tell Ain how he hated the doctors here.

/-/-/

            “I’m telling you, Ain, these doctors are no good! They barely even take care of you properly! They refuse to even see or touch you! We should sue them! They even keep your food outside, waiting for a nurse or me to take it in. But not even the nurse would come in here...Doesn’t that bother you?” Elsword had ranted one day.

            Ain didn’t care. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. “...It doesn’t matter...I’m better off dying...I’m just a waste of space...”

            “Don’t say that! Of course it matters! At least to me! You matter to me...So...don’t say things like that...”

-/-/-

            If it weren’t for Elsword coming every day, Ain would have given up. He would lose that very tiny spark of life and hope he had left in his heart.

            “...I don’t get why you can’t get discharged...you feel nothing wrong, right?” Elsword asked.

            “...I feel no ailments...”

            “Shitty doctors. What’s there to be afraid of?” Elsword grasped Ain’s hand once more. “I’ll always be here for you, remember that.”

            Ain’s arms were splotched with patches of a different skin color that made them look like they were suffering from a rash. Everyone but Elsword were afraid to touch them. The doctors even said that the sickness had spread through his eyes and parts of his face. They didn’t even know what was wrong with him. Ain’s negative attitude also repelled them to even try to do anything to help. “...Why do you keep coming...?”

            “Because you’re my friend, Ain. I’ll never abandon a friend.” The words were firm and pricked the surface of Ain’s heart.

            “...Will you be back tomorrow...?” This, Ain also asked every day.

            “Mmm, of course.” There was a slight hesitation before Elsword let go of Ain’s hands. “...Wait for me...” Ain heard Elsword pick up his things. He never said those words before. But, it wasn’t like Ain could leave this place anyway. “...I’ll see you later, Ain.” Elsword stood there awaiting an answer.

            “...I’ll see you tomorrow.” Satisfied, Ain heard Elsword’s footsteps exit the room and the door close behind him.

            Everything was nothing once more.

 


	2. Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ain waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sold with this ship. Help I can’t—all I think about is THEM! I find it hard, though, to write Apostasia because the amount of negativity he possesses;;;;;

It was around the time Elsword was supposed to come in to see Ain, but, he didn’t appear. Ain did as he was told and waited. Minutes turned into hours.

            Nothing.

            Ain had an instinctive body clock. It knew the precise time Elsword arrived, when he left, when it was night, and when it was morning. Right now, it was three in the morning.

            ‘ _Again...Have I been abandoned by you too?_ ’ Ain thought. It was only a matter of time. Ain knew it. ‘ _...Nothing matters anymore..._ ’ If nothing mattered to him...why did tears still soak his bandages? Ain attempted to get up but his muscles were too weak. After much struggling, he toppled onto the cold cheap white tile floor. Dirt, grime, dust bunnies, and clumps of trash marked and littered the room. Ain’s limbs were tangled and he couldn’t move. He laid there for a long time.

-//-

            The door burst open.

            “AIN!” Elsword yelled as he made for him. A nurse gripped his wrist, stopping him.

            “...Sir, visiting hours aren’t til- “ The nurse said but was cut off.

            “Fuck off!” Elsword pushed her off and slammed the door in her face. He rushed over to Ain. “Ain...I’m so sorry I couldn’t come on time. I’m sorry for leaving you alone.” He hoisted Ain up back on the bed with care. “...Ain...If you’re mad...you have every right to be. I’m sorry...”

            It was so cold up to the point Elsword held him. “...So you didn’t abandon me...” Ain said. It was quiet for a while. Ain then felt his bangs being pushed up and back. Elsword had clipped his bangs up so that they weren’t covering his face. He felt Elsword’s warm hands cup his face then travel to the back of his head. “...What are you doing...?

            “...I don’t care what these stupid doctors say anymore.” Elsword undid the bandages around Ain’s eyes. They fell and slipped onto Ain’s lap. He then wiped the thin crust that formed under off of Ain’s face and eyelids.

            Ain still had his eyes closed but he saw the faint orange glow of the inside of his eyelids. _‘...Orange...?_ ’ He thought of the color. That was what the color was called, right? Slow, he opened his eyes. And, as he saw what was in front of him, tears streaked down his face. A burst of color exploded in his vision. Even though the room itself was plain, it bewildered Ain. But, the vibrant colors that stood out the most were that of Elsword who gazed at him with passionate crimson eyes. The colors flared off of him from his deep red hair, fair skin dotted with large purple bruises, and loose white clothes stained with dirt and blood. “...Beautiful...” The word slipped out of Ain’s mouth out of impulse. It was a strange feeling to feel and see something when he had been in nothing for so long.

            Elsword blushed, panicked, but then regained composure. “...How are you feeling? Does it hurt?” He brushed some hair away from Ain’s face. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see when he took off Ain’s bandages. But, he was glad that it wasn’t bad. “...Your eyes, they’re pretty.” Elsword smiled. The sickness had turned Ain’s eyes into a deeper green color than before. They were like a dark cool forest one could get lost in.

            “...It hurts...a little...I haven’t seen in a long time...the light...” The blinds on the side window let a soft yellow-orange light filter through. They made blaring bars on the bed and on Elsword. “...You look...different.”

            “Mmm...it has been a while, after all.” Elsword held onto Ain’s hand remembering how it all came to be.

-//-///

            It felt like such a long time ago when the two were playing in the yard of Ain’s house. Elsword was a young boy who had wandered into the area from the vast forest.

            When Ain saw him, instead of chasing him away or wondering who he was, he told him to come over. “Isn’t this neat? Ishmael made them,” Ain said as he pointed at pretty artworks that lined the ground to be dried. They were intricate designs and patterns all painted in a deep oceanic blue.

            “Who’s Ishmael?” Elsword asked. He pointed to one of the paintings. It looked like a sad person being hugged by someone else. Well, they were just random lines but to Elsword, it looked like that. “I like this one.”

            Ain grinned. “Ishmael is my caretaker.” Ain pointed to a different painting. “I like this one. It looks like a happy person looking at you to me.”

            “Really?”

They conversed and played until the sun was setting. Elsword stared back into the deep forest. “...I should go home...but I’m lost,” he said.

“We should get you home as soon as possible!” Ain exclaimed as he stood up.

“...Mmm...it’s okay...I don’t need to be back fast. I’m by myself...”

Ain looked at him with sad eyes. “...You’re...alone?”

“...Mmm...” Elsword gazed down at the grass.

“...Why don’t you stay with us?”

“...Is that okay? I just met you...you don’t even know my name nor do I know yours.”

“I’m Ain.” He flashed him a smile, his lime green eyes sparkling.

“...Elsword.”

Ain held out his hand. The sunset colors shone with brilliance on his face and silver hair. “Come, let’s wait for Ishmael to tell her.” Elsword glanced back at the forest then at Ain. He then took hold of the soft outstretched hand.

From then on, Elsword stayed with Ain and they had such fond memories together. One day, however, Ishmael disappeared. They waited and waited for her to come back. But she never did. Ain became devastated.

“...She abandoned us...she’s not coming back...what did I do wrong? Does she hate me? Ishmael...” Ain would mumble many times throughout the day. He started to smile less, have dark circle under his eyes, be anxious, and keep to himself in the dark. Sometimes he would get angry. He got so angry that he tore his favorite painting that Ishmael had made. It was at this time the illness began but was unknown.

Elsword tried to comfort him by hugging him. Seeing Ain like this tore his heart. He knew a similar feeling of abandonment as he did. He remembered his father leaving for the millitary with his sister soon after. They said they would come back, but when? It wasn’t good to give false hope. So instead, Elsword said, “...I’ll never abandon you. I’m sorry...this happened, Ain.” And Ain would just weep.

After some time, a strange person came by claiming that they would take care of them. They hid their face behind a dark mask and was always wearing a dark blue hood with a creepy light blue eye pattern on the front. They never learned this person’s name.

“I don’t trust you! Stay away from Ain!” Elsword spat, shielding Ain away from the strange person.

“...You have no choice. I’ll always be watching...” The person stated. They couldn’t object and since they were young, they weren’t sure what to do but to follow.

Whenever Elsword was asleep or not present, the person would abuse and torture Ain. When Elsword saw the bruises and blood and asked about it, Ain would always lie to him. The person wasn’t home often and all they did was just deteriorate Ain. Elsword knew something was wrong...so he pretended to be asleep and witnessed what happened. He jumped the person but was thrown to the side. The person then ran out of the house.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Elsword shouted at Ain. But Ain didn’t answer. Elsword came over to him and discovered that he had a terrible fever and looked so sick. “Ain!” He carried Ain on his back and ran to find a hospital.

Since then, Ain had been bedridden and his condition worsened. Elsword never failed to visit every day. But Ain was broken beyond repair...

-//-

            Elsword was quiet for a moment, ruminating. After some thought, he resolved himself and made a decision. He got up and pulled up the blinds. The bright light made Ain want to turn away but he didn’t. Elsword ripped open the window and a gush of wind blew through his hair. A faint smell of plants wafted into the room. Elsword turned to Ain and smiled. The orange glow of the sunrise illuminated his profile making him seem radiant. “...We’re getting out of here, Ain.” He held out his hand for Ain to take. “Will you come with me?”

            Ain felt something tiny stir in his heart. He nodded as he placed his hand in Elsword’s. His actions were automatic and filled with complete trust. Elsword pulled him up and sat him on the window sill.

            “When I tell you to come, come. I’ll catch you.” Elsword jumped down and landed on the outside ground. It was a good thing Ain’s room wasn’t high up. “Come now, Ain.” Ain slipped off from the window sill and fell with his long hair streaming behind him and into Elsword’s arms who twirled him around before setting him on the ground. “There we go. Can you get on my back okay?” Ain’s legs wobbled as he stabled himself on Elsword. Elsword bent down and Ain wrapped his arms around Elsword’s shoulders. “Let’s go.” He brought him over towards his shiny red sport touring motorcycle. “Look at my sweet ride.” He placed Ain on the motorcycle and put a cool red helmet on him. He himself got on without a helmet. “Hold on to me, okay?” Ain hugged Elsword tight from behind. Elsword started the engine and they zipped off. A car was just leaving from the parking lot. The striped toll barrier rose and was starting to lower but Elsword did a sharp lean and zoomed on by under and pass the car. Behind them were angry shouts of people but Elsword just laughed; A genuine laugh that he hadn’t laughed for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t ride without helmets kids!  
> I was thinking...am I really ready to release this yet. Am I really? I’ve reread and edited these two chapters a few times x.x I hope it’s been okay so far;;


	3. Cleansing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsword gives Ain a bath.

The blurring streaks of green trees and gray concrete melting into the pale sky held Ain’s attention as the motorcycle whizzed on. The air smelled crisp and fresh tinged with scented flowers that lined the road. The constant droning of the motor with the rushing sound of passing cars seemed to play an uneven but calming melody. No more emptiness. No more darkness. No more hearing the doctors and nurses bad mouthing him. No more waiting for ages to feel Elsword’s warm hands and to hear his voice of salvation.

            They stopped in front of a gray common looking apartment building. “This is where I have been living,” Elsword said as he got off. He took off the helmet off of Ain and carried him off. “...Mmm...we need to get you new clothes.” Ain was still adorning the pale, unwashed, sick, and green hospital gown. Elsword had insisted that he could wash it or he kept on asking for a new one but the employees refused him.

            Elsword carried Ain up the stairs and into his assigned apartment room. Random objects such as books and clothes lay around the floor and on top of furniture. It reeked of cigarettes and alcohol. But, all this didn’t even faze Ain. Instead, he seemed to be somewhat interested in the new environment. “...Sorry, it’s messy. I had unwanted company over sometimes,” Elsword stated, ashamed that Ain had to see and smell all this. But when he realized Ain didn’t care, he felt uneasy and unsure of himself. His heart ached just a tiny bit. “...First off, we’ll give you a bath...is...that okay?” Ain nodded. He took him inside his small bathroom which was clean. It was the only room Elsword bothered to keep clean. The color scheme was a general light blue. A small mirror was attached above the white sink. He set Ain on the white classic porcelain toilet. “...Is it okay that I take off your clothes...?” Elsword wasn’t sure why he was asking and it seemed as if Ain was a bit confused as well, but, Ain nodded nevertheless. Back in the hospital, Elsword was the one who washed him. It was rare though due to the constraints of the doctors. They made an excuse saying that it would irritate Ain’s skin. But, it never did and instead, it soothed him.

            Elsword untied the pale string that held the gown together. He crumpled the hideous thing up and tossed it into the tiny blue plastic trash can that sat in the corner. Seeing Ain so deprived and pale made Elsword want to cry. His eyes stung but he held back thinking to himself that it will all be better now. After he slipped off Ain’s boxers, he lowered him into the tub. Elsword let the water trickle in a mini waterfall, waiting for the right temperature. As soon as it was warm, he took a plastic bin he kept at the corner of the tub, filled it and poured it over Ain’s shoulders. The water cascaded down his bony back spine, and separated into many rivers at his protruding ribs. “...Is it warm?” Elsword asked this even though he knew it was. He always asked, to what people would call it, meaningless, pointless, and silly questions. But to Elsword they were as important as breathing. It was one of the few ways he could communicate to Ain and receive an answer back. For most of the time...Ain remained silent.

            Ain nodded. Even if it was just a simple nod, that set Elsword’s heart at ease. Ain’s long hair waded in the water. Elsword ran his fingers through the dark teal and silver strands. He lowered his eyes and brought them to his lips. But, he decided against kissing it and he let it fall through his hand. “...I’m going to wash your hair now, so close your eyes, okay?” Elsword said as he poured water on top of Ain’s head. Ain did as he was told and kept his eyes closed. The shampoo Elsword bought smelled like fresh roses. A mound of foam formed as he lathered the soap on Ain’s head and through the rest of his hair. After he rinsed it, he clipped it up to keep it out of the water below. Next was Ain’s body. The body soap Elsword used smelled of sweet milk and honey. As he spread it across Ain’s body using a blue puff, he trailed his fingers over the places where the corrupted skin ended. “Can you wash yourself down there?” Ain made to hold the puff but his arm was shaking. “...It’s okay.” Elsword lowered down Ain’s arm. Blushing, he also cleaned Ain’s legs, thighs, crotch area, and bottom.

            “...Sorry...” Ain whispered as he realized that that might have made Elsword uncomfortable. Before, he could do it himself, but now...

            Elsword shook his head. “It’s fine. Really. I don’t mind. Don’t worry about it.” He lifted Ain out of the tub. “Hold on to me.” All the while Elsword face was flushed for Ain was naked and holding on to him without being embarrassed himself. The towels were soft against Ain’s skin. Elsword placed a towel on the toilet, had Ain sit down, and dried the rest of Ain off. After wrapping a towel around Ain’s waist, he carried him to his room and laid him on his bed. He searched his closet and found unused clothes for Ain to wear. “...I think the pants is too small...but you can wear these unused boxers and coat until I can get you better clothes.” Ain held onto Elsword as he dressed him. “...I have to go do some things right now. I have some books here next to bed if you get bored. I’ll bring you snacks and water.” Elsword dashed to his kitchen and opened a few snacks. He grabbed a pile of books and placed them on the bed. He also twisted open two water bottles and placed the caps back on so that it was easier for Ain to open. “I’ll be back. I promise.” Ain nodded and curled up on the comfortable soft bed.

            As Elsword was leaving, he stopped at his doorway. He was tempted to burst out: ‘Aren’t you going to ask why I look like this?!’ He stared at his visible bruises, the blood stains, and dirt on him. “...Beautiful my ass...” He mumbled. “...I’m not beautiful...Ain...I’m...as ugly and filthy as shit.”


	4. Realizing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ain is slowly realizing his surroundings.

The bed was heavy with Elsword’s scent. It was so intoxicating and overwhelming. But, it made Ain feel at ease. However, Ain could also smell faint cigarette residue and a pinch of something metallic mixed in with it. He felt like he could lay there for days, years even. Perhaps it was because it felt like he wasn’t alone. He had been thinking that there wasn’t anything left to live for when he was stuck in the void of emptiness. But, after he saw the bright colors flash before his eyes, just for a while longer, Ain had a miniscule desire to see more. He also realized that he was beginning to dislike being lonely...

\--///-

            It was around evening when Elsword came back home. In his arms were various items such as clothes and necessities. He sundered into his room. There, he saw Ain reading the books he piled on the bed. He peered closer to see which one Ain was reading. Elsword’s face flared up. “A-ain!” Elsword yelped.

            Ain glanced up at him but continued reading. On the pages were two guys participating in a heavy session of kissing. One of the hands trailed down and...

            “Ain! How about we go eat something,” Elsword said as he pulled the manga away. A look of disappointment seemed to flicker across Ain’s face. Elsword tried to calm himself down as he helped Ain sit up. “Ah, wait. I bought you some new clothes. Let’s change, yeah?” Ain nodded and held onto Elsword once more as he dressed him. Elsword had bought a warm black sweater, a black t-shirt, black slacks, and a pack of underwear. “I have more clothes for you like...” He held up cute aqua pajamas with bunnies on them. “...this for night time. And also some clothes for when it gets hot. Swim trunks. Several set of clothes...If you want more clothes, I’ll go buy them.”

            Ain examined his new items. “...Thank you,” Ain said.

            “Umm uhh...It’s no problem. Anyways, let’s eat something.” Elsword couldn’t stop blushing as he guided Ain to the dining table. “Is there anything you want?”

            Ain gave a small shrug.

            “Hmm...ah I got it!” Elsword began preparing the food. As he moved about, Ain watched him with intent eyes. Behind that cheery face was a mask of tiredness. Black circles rimmed Elsword’s eyes and even his eyes themselves were bloodshot. Often he would just sigh.

            “...Elsword...” Ain wanted to say something but he wasn’t sure what. All that came out was Elsword’s name.

            “Huh?” Elsword seemed to have snapped back into reality. He averted his eyes when he realized that Ain kept a steady gaze on him. As he waited for a reply, he continued cooking but would also glance back at Ain.

            Ain studied him more. There were those bandages over his hands and wrists that he told him not to worry about. They looked fresh. Then there were those dark purple greenish bruises that mapped his exposed skin. Red marks, which seemed to be scars, poked out from underneath his clothing as well. Just what had been going on when Elsword isn’t at the hospital? At this moment, Ain was just confused. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again.

            Elsword noticed the distress written on his face. “Take your time, Ain. No one is going to rush you. No one is ever going to rush you anymore.” His voice drifted. “No one is going to say mean things to you. No one is going to force you to do things you don’t want to do. Things will be any way you want it to be...”

            “...Elsword...”

            “Oh! Umm...I...sorry...I didn’t mean...I...umm...the food is ready.” The macaroni shone with deliciousness under the light all golden and warm. He placed the bowl in front of Ain. “Ah...that’s right. Say ahhh~” Elsword took a scoop, blew on it, and held it in front of Ain’s mouth. As the macaroni entered his mouth, a yummy warmth spread across his pallet.

Ain’s eyes brightened and he was eager for more. It tasted way better than the stale hospital food. “You like it huh?” Elsword smiled. It relieved if only a little of his stress. “You can have as much as you want.”

            After dinner, Elsword got Ain and himself ready for bed.

            Ain stared at Elsword on the floor.

            “...Something the matter?” Elsword asked. His room was somewhat cluttered but not dirty. He felt so cold on the floor for he had given Ain all his blankets. He awaited an answer.

            A complicated feeling twisted in Ain’s heart. Everything was coming at him in abundance. Not too long ago, he was thinking that nothing at all mattered; That it’ll be better off dying. But here, he saw Elsword doing his best to make him comfortable and happy. With his own eyes now free, he saw the physical world and the toll that Elsword seemed to be taking just for him. He had asked why before and Elsword had responded that he was a friend. Plus, they were living together for a while after all. Elsword never gave up on him even though Ain gave up on himself a long time ago. But why go this far? What’s going on? Why is he doing this? Why is he going through such lengths for such a shell of a man? But what came out of Ain’s mouth wasn’t these questions or thoughts but instead, “...Am I a burden...?”

            The room was quiet for several moments. “...Ain...never...never say that again.” Elsword’s voice was quiet and wavering. “...You’re not a burden...You never were and you’ll never be one. Don’t ever think of yourself that way. Don’t ever ask or say that again.” Ain couldn’t see in the dark, but Elsword was shaking. Elsword held a hand over his other wrist. When he heard those words out of Ain’s mouth, he couldn’t help but to feel a sharp jab in his chest. He breathed in to stop his tears but they fell anyway. The tears spilled onto the pillow. He tried to muffle his sobs so that Ain wouldn’t hear.

            Ain shuffled over to the edge of the bed. With the best of his ability, he slipped onto the floor with a thud. It startled Elsword and he wiped his face as much as he could but before he turned around, he felt a small tug on the back of his tank top. That simple action conveyed so much words and emotions that Ain wanted but couldn’t sort out or express. But Elsword understood.

            Elsword steadied his breathing before he spoke. “...It’s okay, Ain. Are you hurt?”

            “...No...” Ain replied.

            Elsword turned to face Ain. He couldn’t see his face nor vice versa. He wondered if this was how Ain felt when he couldn’t see. He hesitated before moving closer. Ain felt his warmth and his emotional chaos inside him calmed. Then, Elsword searched and held Ain’s hand. Memories of the past wafted in Ain’s mind as he remembered that Elsword used to do this when he had trouble sleeping at night due to being upset about Ishmael. It always worked. The gentleness and warmness lulled Ain to sleep. “...Sweet dreams, Ain.”

           


	5. Unburdened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsword and Ain get ready to leave the apartment for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to write and provide more for ainels but I lack ideas;;;; Nothing is truly clicking yet (besides this one;;; )

“...Ain...Ain...wake up...Ain...” Elsword said in a gentle voice as he nudged Ain. Ain’s eyes fluttered open to see Elsword gazing at him with a heartwarming smile. He then realized that he was on the bed. “We’re going to leave soon. After I pack everything and get you ready, we’ll go.” He paused and lowered his eyes. “...We’re...not going to come back here so...if there is anything like lying around, make sure to tell me so I’ll pack it too. Here, why don’t I get you ready now so that you can eat some breakfast?” He pulled Ain up. Ain’s legs were getting steadier already but he still needed some support. After brushing his teeth, Elsword sat Ain at the table in front of a smiling happy face pancake. The mouth was of bacon and the eyes of whipped cream. On the side was some scrambled eggs. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted rice, fish, soup, or vegetables. Or if you wanted cake, bread, or some other kind of pastry. So instead I made you this.” Ain stared at the silly face. He had a slight urge to turn the smile upside down.

            After he fed him, Elsword placed Ain back on the bed. Ain watched him as he packed random things into his backpack. Some of these things included a crowbar, knives, razor blades, lock picks, dry food like noodles, water, wads of cash, cigarettes, alcoholic drinks, and many other strange things. Ain, however, didn’t even know what most of these things were or what they were used for. He glanced at the side of the bed. The books were still lying on one corner. He crawled over and took the manga he was reading yesterday and stuffed it in his sweater. From what he observed, it seemed as if Elsword wouldn’t allow him to take it. More manga like it were stacked on the floor but the one he held amused him the most. After Elsword zipped up the bags he was going to take, Ain asked, “...Why are we leaving...?”

            Elsword froze and heaved a long sigh. “...We...can’t stay here. They...the...hospital people and the police will be looking for us since...since...I took you out without their permission.”

            Ain was beginning to learn more things about Elsword. He had been mulling about him since yesterday. He remembered feeling the bandages on Elsword’s wrists as he held his hand. Since he had been locked away for so long, he realized...that he doesn’t know much about him despite spending time with him every day. He looked over Elsword’s wounds again. Bruises, scars, and bandages shouldn’t belong on him...Not knowing about what’s going on made Ain a bit irritated. This was a new feeling he had never had before. Was it because he was starting to care? It sounds crass to say for Ain gave the impression that he doesn’t appreciate what Elsword does for him. Because what did it matter? Why is he trying when Ain could care less? These thoughts...Ain realized...were wrong. Maybe...maybe he should open up more and that in turn will get Elsword to open up to him. Maybe he should give the life Elsword was giving him, a chance. Ain felt so strange to think these things. Perhaps it was the sheer will and air of happiness Elsword radiated that made him feel like giving it a go.

            “...Is it because of money...?” Ain asked. It slipped out for he was still brooding over yesterday about being a burden.

            Elsword’s eyes widened. He wasn’t expecting Ain to know or even think about the money it cost to “keep him safe.” Maybe he overheard the doctors... “...Uhh...yeah, yeah. But who would want to pay those shitty doctors anyway? So, we gotta run. But, I’ll take you anywhere you want, Ain. The beach, the mountains – anywhere. You can eat and see whatever you want. Sounds good?”

            One of things Ain had learned at this moment, was that when Elsword lied, he also looked away or would hesitate; which he was doing now. Ain already knew that when Elsword had a certain tone, it meant that he was lying. However, something about what he was saying seemed like the truth but not in its entirety. “...Yes.” Ain didn’t know what else to say. It seemed as if Elsword wasn’t going to tell him anything right now. He’ll have to wait.

            Elsword sighed in relief and smiled. “Good.” He then took another backpack that was empty. “Is there anything you want? This is yours.” He placed Ain’s clothes in it and laid the backpack on the bed. When Elsword turned around, Ain hid the book he had within the clothing.

            “...I like...I like the chips you gave me...” All of these new foods Ain found fascinating. The chips he ate yesterday were plain potato chips. The sting of the salt and the crunch of the chip was satisfying.

            Elsword laughed. “Okay. I’ll pack some for you.” He was silent for a few minutes. “...Ain?” Ain stared at him to let him know that he has his attention. “...I...nevermind. I mean...It’s hard for me to believe that you’re with me now...umm...I...I need to pack or store other stuff.” He dashed out of the room hiding his red face.

-//--//

            Elsword left a lot of things behind but it didn’t matter. As he started up the motorcycle, Ain held on around his waist tight, digging his fingers within his shirt. Elsword took one last look at the apartment and of the town the both of them had lived in for a while. His eyes wandered towards the forest where they first met. All of that this was soon going to be a memory. But, they must move forward. It was time to heal and embrace peace. Everything will be the way they want it to be, the way they want to live. They sped out into the street and towards the north, leaving all the old baggage behind. With every centimeter they were further away, the chains, the heavy burdens, and the locked emotions fell one by one until it felt as if they were flying with wide beautiful light wings across the lovely blue sky.


	6. Enjoyable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ain and Elsword start enjoying random things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's a tad slow >o

Elsword had a dreamy look in his eyes as he fed Ain the food he had chosen.

            “...Elsword...” Ain called but the fork kept coming. Ain had to hold Elsword’s wrist to stop him.

            “Huh...? Oh!” Elsword exclaimed as he averted his eyes and covered his face with his free hand to hide his blush.

            “...What about you...? I haven’t seen you eat anything...” Ain took the fork from Elsword’s hand and redirected it. He tried to feed Elsword but his hand was shaking too much.

            Elsword clasped Ain’s hand with both of his. “Ahh~” He bit down on the piece of meat. It tasted better than usual. Maybe because Ain was feeding him? He glanced at Ain and could tell that that made him happy even though he had an impassive face. “Don’t worry about me. You need it more than I do.” The truth was that Elsword was still a bit nervous. They had driven pretty far but he could never be too careful...

//-//

            They checked in a hotel for the night. During the day, Elsword had taken Ain out shopping and exploring. All of the colorful objects spiked Ain’s curiosity. They didn’t buy too much but just spending time together like that was enjoyable.

            “How did you like today, Ain?” Elsword asked. His eyes and smile were ever so gentle.

            For a while, Ain was speechless. What was this warm feeling? Did Elsword always look at him like this? He didn’t notice his own hand reach up to touch the side of Elsword’s face. Something inside of Ain felt as if it were melting. Was this how it felt to be cherished?

            “Ain?” The cold press of Ain’s hand tingled against his cheek. He was hesitant about holding Ain’s hand as he gazed into his eyes. Instead, he decided against it and closed his eyes. His eyes were beginning to sting.

            Ain slipped his hand away. The warmness still lingered on his fingers. “...I never seen some of those things before...” Ain mused.

            Elsword let out a sigh of relief and perked up. “Right? And you’ll see much more. I’ll take you to a garden tomorrow. It’ll have a lot of pretty flowers and plants. But for now, let’s sleep.” Elsword tucked Ain in the soft bed and headed over to the hard couch to sleep. Ain stared at him. Just from that gaze, Elsword knew what he wanted. “It can’t be helped I suppose,” Elsword chided as he snuggled under the covers with Ain. “Is this...really okay?”

            Ain stared at him confused. What did he mean by that? There was nothing wrong with sleeping next each other, was there? They did it yesterday, why wasn’t it okay today? Or...was he talking about leaving everything behind and breaking him out from the hospital?

            Elsword emitted a sad laugh. “It’s nothing.” He was silent for a bit as he gazed at Ain. “You’re beautiful, Ain. More beautiful than you can imagine.” He slid his hand into Ain’s and stroked the marred skin with his thumb. That familiar warmth was so soothing. “...Good Night, Ain.” Ain said nothing but his eyes did close slow. Only until Ain was asleep did Elsword sleep as well.

\--////--

            People stared at both Elsword and Ain as they walked through the fragrance and lush of the garden. Elsword was carrying Ain piggyback style. The eyes didn’t bother them whatsoever. Ain would point at something and Elsword would head over to let him have a closer look. Being so close to Elsword like this...it felt as if the large chasm was being filled. Ain felt so comfortable...

            Various colorful flowers bloomed in an abundance of bushels on the path they treaded. There was a pretty bench overlooking a large koi pond. Elsword sat Ain on this bench making sure to be careful so that he didn’t injure him.

            “Phew...I’m a bit tired so let’s rest,” Elsword huffed as he sat next to Ain. It was quiet except for the nature sounds such as the birds chirping and the water splashing. “Would you like to feed the fish?” A tiny sparkle lit up in Ain’s eye. “I thought you might want to.” Elsword got up and brought back some fish food. He tossed some in before giving the rest to Ain.

            Ain tossed a few of the pellets. A large group of giant koi fish splashed up and fought for the food in a violent brawl. On the side was a small bright red koi fish fighting to get its share. “...That fish...” Ain mumbled. He tossed some its way but the food was overtaken by more giant fish. Ain glanced at Elsword. There was a painful look on his face as he stared at that poor red little koi. He seemed entranced and only snapped out of it when Ain tried to get up.

            “Ain?”

            “...That fish...I want to feed it...”

            “...I understand how you feel...but...” He stared at the little fish again. “...sometimes...there isn’t anything you can do about things like that...the big fish are just going to take it again...” He went to support Ain so that he wouldn’t fall.

            Ain said nothing. He tossed most of the pellets far away. The big fish fed on it and after a while, became full. Only then did Ain toss the rest towards the little red fish. Another teal little koi appeared besides it and they had a peaceful feast.

            “...What a lucky little fish...” Elsword murmured as he helped Ain back to the bench. “I’ll be back.”

            Ain stared out at the pond. It wasn’t like Elsword to be negative. Then again, it wasn’t normal to be positive all the time either. Again, Ain wondered just how much Elsword changed. He remembered when he used to smile all the time...

            “Look, Ain,” Elsword whispered as he held out a gorgeous red rose. “Isn’t it pretty?” He placed it into Ain’s hands. Before he did, however, he removed the thorns with a small pocket knife he always carried. Ain gazed into the rose. Its fragrance smelled nice. “I know that sometimes you say that everything is just going to pass anyway, that everything is going to die. But, isn’t it nice to enjoy life for a while like this? Just how you’re seeing this rose. One day, it’s going to wilt away, but the time that it’s in its prime...it’s beautiful thing, life is.” Elsword’s voice seemed distant. When Ain looked up at him, he was staring somewhere far off. Ain caressed the soft petals. Enjoying a little of life like this...didn’t seem too bad. “Well, let’s get going.” Elsword knelt down for Ain to get on his back.

            As they left, something dark and ominous lurked within the pond. The shadowy figure crept behind the little red fish and swallowed it whole.

           


	7. Dirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of the reason why Elsword is running is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for the comments etc. and support! I really appreciate it ;A; ...I actually want to title this chapter “Shit” but I dunno if that would’ve been okay since it’s a chapter title;;;;

A week passed while they traveled further. At the moment, they were making a stop at a gas station to refill.

            “Stay here and watch, Ain. If you see anything suspicious, let me know. I’ll go buy us some snacks and drinks. I’ll be back soon,” Elsword said. He couldn’t help but to be paranoid. Things seemed to be going too well. Ain nodded and watched Elsword disappear into the gas convenient store.  

“...Let’s see here...” Elsword mumbled as he examined all the colorful snacks that lined the racks. “...He’ll probably like this one...” He was about to grab something until a voice halted him.

            “They’re looking for you,” the voice stated out flat.

            The blood ran cold in Elsword’s veins. Over a sudden it was harder to breathe. Sweat formed on the side of his face and he was trembling in fear. He didn’t even have to turn around to see who it was. He recognized it the moment he heard it. _‘...I knew it,_ ’ he thought.

            “...If you’re wondering how I found you, I attached a tracking GPS on your motorcycle. All it took was a bit of foresight and calculating to catch you here,” the voice continued.

            Hesitant and slow, Elsword turned around. “...Add...I...I wasn’t expecting to see you...” Elsword mumbled. He wasn’t sure what else to say. He felt sure that he meant no ill intentions but he couldn’t help but to still be wary. Glancing to the side, he saw that Ain was still waiting unharmed.

            “It’s just a warning. I’m not your enemy. I’m glad you took my advice. I’ll do whatever to throw them off but I don’t know how long it’ll last. Your sister really is pissed.” Add pointed towards Ain. “That him?” Elsword nodded. “...Keep running. I don’t know what’ll happen if they catch you now.” Add waved off and exited the store.

            For a while, Elsword stood frozen in place. They were looking for him already. He had to keep Ain out of this and keep him safe. Ain might be worried that he’s taking a long time...Elsword forced himself to buy the things he wanted and rushed out of the store.

            “...Elsword...?” Ain questioned seeing the distraught on his face.

            “...Umm we need to get on the road fast,” Elsword replied. He searched for the GPS tracker and smashed it onto the floor and under his foot. He could never be too sure. His anxiety and nervousness spiked. They then sped off into the road. The cool rushing wind wasn’t enough to calm Elsword’s rapid beating heart. Instead, he started to remember that night...

//-///

            The muzzle of the gun was freezing cold against the back of his head. In front of him was a bucket filled with sharp metal razors. He was trembling and his heart was filled with terror as the person behind him kept on pressing the gun against his head.

            “Go on. What are you waiting for? It shouldn’t be a problem since you like cutting so much,” she spat.

            “...Rose...Elesis is going to be mad if you kill him...” Add said trying to convince her to stop. The rest of the gang were either too scared, accepted it as normal, or didn’t care too much. Elsword was only a lackey after all despite being the leader’s little brother.

            Rose shot Add an icy glare. “I don’t care. I’m bored. Now hurry the fuck up or I’ll dump your face in it.”

            Elsword found himself peering right above the small pit of death for Rose pushed his head that far. When the gang bullied him like this, he would attempt to stand up for himself and when he did, he would get beat down, but they would stop making him do whatever they were going to make him do in the first place. He rather had those violent kicks and punches than sticking his hands in a bucket of blades. This time, he couldn’t fight back because Rose was going to kill him. She _was_ going to do it _for sure_ if he didn’t comply. His hands shook as he lowered them towards the bucket. He bit his lip to stop it from quivering as tears dropped from his eyes, splashing on the sharp blades and making them glisten. The cool metal seared his hands and the blood trickled from his deep cuts. His tears caused the cuts to burn with a higher level of intensity. Anywhere than here was better. Even a few feet away from this bucket was paradise.

            “Piece of shit,” Rose spat as she kicked Elsword’s side. The impact caused the bucket to spill over scattering the blood and tear stained razors across the floor. “Some man you are. Can’t even stand up for yourself. You even cry. Pathetic.” Rose sheathed her gun and walked away followed by all but one of the members. How lucky that they decided not to press any further. Elsword shriveled up sobbing as the dull pain droned in his side.

            Elsword then felt someone removing some blades that stuck onto his hands. “...I’ve had enough,” Add murmured. He checked over the wounds. “...If you would have stuck them deeper, you might have damaged your hands permanently.” Add then dressed the wounds with bandages. “Why are you even still here?”

            “...Why are you helping me?” Elsword rasped. Now that he thought about it, Add never did anything physical against him. Sure there were times where he abused him with verbal crass words but never with physical beat downs.

            “...It’s hard...it’s hard to see someone get...physically hurt like that. The blades...the threat to kill...that’s just too much...I...I know it sounds baseless coming from me since I wasn’t kind either. I’m just here for the drugs...I didn’t sign up to treat someone...like...a total...slave...” Add lowered his voice. “...I know how it feels...” He sat Elsword up. “...Take it as you will...Can you get home?” Elsword tried to get up but the pain was too much. He should be used to it...but maybe it was the loss of blood... “...I’ll take you.” Add hoisted him up and they started on their way. It felt so strange for Add to be...kind but Elsword was glad to take the help. Halfway, Add asked, “Why don’t you leave? Escape this place. Get out of here.”

            There was a passing silence before Elsword spoke. “...I can’t,” he breathed. The cool night help calmed his pain.

            “And why the hell not?! They treat you like shit! I treated you like shit!” Add felt like slapping this crazy mofo.

            Elsword hesitated but the words fell out anyway. “I can’t because of him. Having a part time job isn’t enough. I need the money for his hospital bills. So...I don’t care if it’s dirty money...I don’t care if I’m being treated like shit...I’m shit anyway.”

            “...Who’s he?” By now they were at the front of his apartment.

            “...Someone I really care about. Also, my sister...she’s going to be pissed.”

            Add glanced around. He noticed that Elsword had a different motorcycle now. He remembered that Elsword used to have a luxurious sports motorcycle. Now it’s a sports tour motorcycle* and it didn’t look as fancy. “Seems like you’ve already been planning it though. At least subconsciously. Doesn’t your sister love you?”

            “...Seems that way on the outside doesn’t it? Seems as if she’s...obsessed. But if she really loved me...do you think that she’ll let all of you guys treat me like this? Do you think she would approve me going out and stealing stuff? Would she actually send me out on those jobs? She hits me and claims it’s out of tough love. She gives me the lowest amount of the shared goods. Hell no. She changed...and I’m not stupid enough to not notice that. Everyone is always calling me an idiot. Well fine, yeah I am one. If you consider staying stupid. Call me whatever. But I swear...I’ll die first before I abandon someone I-- someone in need.” Elsword broke free from Add’s grasp and wobbled to his door. He fumbled with his keys until he was able to open the door. He had to shut himself up before he let go everything he knew.

            “...Resiam street. There is a small house where a rich man keeps his stash. It’s the white and blue house. The money is in the bedroom in the light blue pillow with a golden crown on it. I just got this information today but I didn’t tell anyone. I’ll stall them. Take that money, pay off the bill, take your friend, and fucking get out of here.”

            Elsword said nothing as he closed the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A sports tour motorcycle goes for a longer distance than a sports motorcycle.  
> ;u; Ah I feel bad making Rose the meanie in this one. The meanie gang consists of: CrA, CR, AS, VC, NW, DM, DiE


	8. Nothing Faded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stress just piles up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for the comments etc~! I love you guys TuT  
> On a side note...I'm totally taking requests *nudge nudge wink* for Ain x Elsword and Add x Elsword. Feel free to ask for anything...like anything ToT *lies on floor*

They had been traveling with almost no rest. This confused Ain. Over a sudden, Elsword seemed to be more quiet, wary, and absentminded.

            Ain tugged on Elsword’s shirt. “...Elsword...where are we going?” he asked hoping to get an answer.

            “Huh? Oh...oh! I...I’m sorry Ain. Did you want to go somewhere? I don’t mind. We can stop someplace before we reach my friend’s house. It’s important...but we don’t have to be there immediately,” Elsword replied as he looked out at the road. They were waiting to be seated at a busy restaurant.

            Friend? Elsword had other friends besides him? Did he spend time with them too? Ain felt strange. Was this jealousy? Is that why he’s not there with him sometimes? Ain gripped Elsword’s shirt tighter. Did he like them better...?

            “...Ain, is something wrong?” Elsword asked, his eyes wide and shining.

            How he looks at Ain...does he look like this to other people too? But that gaze...Ain felt as if Elsword looked at him like this only. “...Am I...important to you...?” Ain couldn’t help but to ask.

            Elsword blushed. “O-of course! I told you this many times! You’re extremely important to me.” ‘ _The most important person to me in the world_ ,’ Elsword thought.

            “...Then...where did you go when you weren’t visiting me...?”

            The blush dissipated and was replaced with worry. He averted his eyes. “...I had...to work you know...to get...food and stuff.”

            Was he lying? Ain’s heart fell; A feeling that was unfamiliar to him. Again...it wasn’t a full lie...yet it wasn’t a full truth. Before he could think more on it, a waitress told them a table was ready. Elsword smiled but was quick to follow the waitress to the table with Ain following downcast...

////---//--//

            It was night. Elsword waited until Ain fell asleep before slipping his hand away and getting up from the bed. He wasn’t sure what to feel. All his emotions and feelings were all muddled. Was he...afraid? Perhaps a little. But also he was somewhat happy. Ain had initiated the conversation today and his questions seem to show that he was changing. It was just the matter of the kinds of questions he was asking. Elsword eyed his bag and decided that he couldn’t bear what he was feeling. What if...what if Ain stops trusting him? What if Ain didn’t...no...he mustn’t think of that. Elsword already made a resolve and he was going to follow through with it no matter what. It’ll...be painful...it’ll hurt...It hurts so much right now...

            Elsword unzipped his bag and took out some expensive whisky. There was a small balcony. He opened the sliding door and leaned over the rail taking a swig from the bottle. Being anxious about the gang after him didn’t help and it only added to his stress. Drinking was a better alternative to some other things...The liquid stung but went smooth down his throat. Then... he cried. He wept and drank for a good few hours attempting to let his feelings turn into nothing. The tears streamed down his tired face and splattered unto the pavement far below.

//--///-

            Elsword had stopped by a few bookstores and a library to let Ain read whatever he wanted. Since Ain didn’t have an extensive colorful vocabulary, he often asked Elsword what some words and phrases meant. Sometimes they both wouldn’t know and they would look it up in a dictionary. While out like this, Ain noticed something. Elsword wasn’t happy. His eyes were gentle, but the smiles were forced.

            A good amount of nights passed and Ain found out that Elsword had been drinking when he would think that he was asleep. Often times, Elsword would wake up with a hangover and take pills for it.

            One night, Elsword was drinking as usual. Ain sat up and stated, “...Drinking is bad for your health...”

            “Ain! I thought you were...This? I...” Elsword trailed off as he covered his face in embarrassment. He didn’t want Ain to see him like this. Thanks to the books, Ain learned more about the world. It was as if a bunch of colorful flowers bloomed into his mind. “...You’re right...don’t...don’t ever drink, yeah?” Elsword got up and tossed the bottle in the trash. After some thought, he threw all the other liquor he had in the trash. He got back under the covers. Ain smelled the reeking alcohol off of him but he wasn’t repulsed. This time, Ain searched for Elsword’s hand and held it. “...Ain...”

            “...Sleep...” Ain watched and waited for Elsword to go to sleep.

            “...Okay. Thanks...Ain...” Elsword let himself be lulled to sleep.

            For a while, Ain remained awake and thought:

_What was Elsword to him?_


	9. What He Doesn't Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ain and Elsword spend time on the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D Thanks as always for the comments, support etc.!  
> There is a song - the lyrics I thought about APxIS/LWxShk And I thought about it here in the story as they are traveling around having fun and stuff. It's called: It's The Right Time by Daichi Miura--- that one parasyte ending song~

The vast ocean glittered and shone with golden colors as the sun hovered close to the horizon.

            “What do you think? It’s even better when the sun sets. We have about two hours until then,” Elsword said smiling. He glanced at Ain to see his reaction.

            There was so much gold, orange, and yellow in one place. Ain looked down at the sand and poked a single toe in it. The grains felt strange but they were soft. He then placed his whole foot onto the sand followed by his other foot. Amusement sparked in his eyes. “...It’s interesting...” Ain mumbled.

            Elsword made sure to come at a late time so that there weren’t many people around. He didn’t want to lose Ain in the crowd and he wanted to be sure that he could see him at all times. Plus, Ain wasn’t too great around many people, he noticed. When they went out, Ain would often keep within close proximity of Elsword, grip Elsword’s shirt, or hold Elsword’s hand tighter than usual. Ain also shied away when someone spoke to him, hiding behind Elsword.

            Elsword stepped onto the sand himself and grabbed Ain’s hand, pulling him closer towards the ocean and told him, “We can’t swim in it, but you can feel the waves lap over your feet.” He demonstrated by placing his feet onto the wet cold mushy sand. The foamy waves splashed over his feet and receded back from whence it came. Ain then copied Elsword. The cool waves washed over his feet and retreated.

            “...It feels strange...as if I’m being pulled away...but...I’m still here...” Ain commented. He stamped his feet making dents in the sand. The waves came and smoothed his work over. What was the use of living if everything was just going die? It would be all for nothing...just like how Ain’s indents smoothed over once more by the waves. At least, Ain would have thought this way some time ago. But now, having made the indents was entertaining to him. The squish and the splash of his feet, sand and waves gave him a happy feeling. It didn’t matter if the waves were going to wash them away. That meant he got to do the fun action again and again until he was satisfied. “...I’m alive right now...” Ain wasn’t sure what prompt him to say that but he did.

            “Mmm, and I’m glad you are. Right here, besides me, Ain.” Elsword made his own indents next to Ain’s. They both watched as their prints disappeared. A lone sick feeling overcame Elsword’s heart as he watched the waves from afar. How far did the ocean go? How deep was it? How long did he have to wait? How long did he have to endure? He felt so much...he felt too much. His body contained too much just like the ocean. The tumults during storms caused violent waves to rage on the surface of the waters. Elsword found himself gripping tighter onto Ain’s hand. A single tear glittered from the sun as it fell down his right cheek.

            “...Elsword?”

            “Huh? Oh...sorry I...” Elsword tried to pull away his hand but Ain held it firm. He gritted his teeth to stop all the tears from spilling. Then, he forced a smile to keep the sorrow at bay. “...Why don’t we look at that tide pool over there?” Elsword led Ain towards the small pool inhabited by tiny sea creatures. There were many hermit crabs dancing around and hiding within their shells. On the side was a pink squishy star fish. Elsword dipped his hand into the pool and poked it. “Why don’t you try touching the starfish? Not the crabs though, they hurt.”

            Ain dipped his hand into the calm water and petted the starfish. If felt so soft, bumpy, and somewhat slimy. He read about starfish but to touch one was something else. “...I like it...” A soft genuine smile stretched across Elsword’s face...

            After exploring and playing on the beach for a bit, the sun was getting ready to set. They headed back towards the motorcycle to sit and watch the red and orange colors disappear and melt into the ocean.

            “...Ain, have you ever thought about what you wanted to do in the future?” Elsword had a wistful look in his eyes as the salty ocean breeze flowed through his hair. “...Sorry, that was an unfair question. But...ever since I was a kid, I thought I knew what I wanted to do. I was going to join the military just like my dad and sis. Watching them with their backs so tall and proud being brave to go out there and save or help people. At least...that’s what I believed. I never really understood what going out there meant.” Elsword paused and drew in a deep breath attempting to keep his tears away. He unzipped his backpack and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He took one out, lit it and placed it between his lips. He attempted to take a puff but he ended up coughing and gagging.

            “...Smoking is bad for you too...” Ain stated.

            “...Ha...yeah...you’re right...I never got used to them anyway.” Elsword snuffed out the cigarette and put it to the side. He stared back at the red ocean. “...My dad...I was wondering...why did he abandon me? Why did my sister abandon me? But...what I found out...” Elsword gazed downward. “...He died. My dad...he died...out there during duty. He...he didn’t abandon me...he...he just couldn’t come back...At least...at least that’s what I want to believe. The people needed him more than me...I guess...” Tear drops splashed onto the concrete. Ain remained silent but Elsword’s arm covered his face so Ain didn’t see that he was crying. “...I found out...because...because my sister came back. And after seeing how she is now...I’m pretty sure that I don’t want to go out there. Now...I don’t even know what to do. Why do things happen like this?”

            “...Elsword...” Ain knew that Elsword was speaking his heart out to him but he wasn’t sure what to say. When Ishmael left them, Ain often wondered the same thing.

            “...Sorry...I’m just...” Elsword rubbed his eyes and forced a grin. He was now gazing at Ain. The fading bright colors shone on Ain’s hair and face. “...Ain...” Elsword leaned in closer. “...Do you think...that...I’m...hopeless?” He was only inches away from Ain’s lips. He was so tempted to kiss them. A sad smile crept on his own lips as he tucked a few long strands of Ain’s hair behind his ear. As he pulled away, he let the rest of the strands smooth between his fingers until they fell away. “...It’s getting late.” The sky had now turned purple and dark blue. Elsword got up and got his motorcycle ready.

            “...I think...that you’re strong...” Ain remarked. Elsword’s actions from before caused Ain a bit of confusion. But only until after Elsword pulled away did he realize what he was trying to do. At least he thought he knew. Ain still wasn’t quite sure. And why?

            “Ha...only you would say that, Ain. Thanks.” For a short moment, Elsword held a sorrowful gaze out into the ocean. He then helped Ain up onto his motorcycle and they sped away towards their hotel.

            Once there, at the nearest trash can, Elsword dumped all the tobacco, expensive and cheap, into it. He sort of felt the urge to drink but he had none. He had to be a good example to Ain anyways. Next, he gave Ain a bath and was now getting ready to shower himself.

            “Here, you can watch TV if you want,” Elsword said as he turned on the TV. He handed Ain the remote. “Just press these buttons or a number if you want to see something different.” He then disappeared into the bathroom.

            On the TV screen was the news. Ain watched in amusement as the weather man proclaimed that it would be raining soon. He pressed the next channel button. Some sort of game show was going on in this channel. Ain kept on pressing random buttons until he stopped on one channel. Two people, a man and a woman were kissing, hugging, and touching much like the manga Ain had read back at Elsword’s apartment. Ain heard the shower water stop so he changed the channel into something else. Elsword came out of the bathroom drying his hair with a towel.

            “Ready for bed Ain...? Ain...?” Elsword questioned but was confused for Ain had an intent gaze at him. Slow and unsure, Elsword sat upon the bed. “...Is...something the matter...?”

            Ain opened his mouth to speak but he closed it. Instead, he shifted closer and pushed Elsword down onto the bed. He now hoovered over him, holding his wrists.

            “...Ain...What...W-what are you doing?” A pink flush spread across Elsword’s cheeks as he stared up into Ain’s deep eyes. His heart wanted to burst.

            Ain leaned in, remaining only a few inches away. “...I wanted to try something...to see how it feels...” Ain replied, his voice deep but placid. The sound of static emitted from the TV.

            Elsword’s face fell. He turned away so that Ain was staring at Elsword’s cheek. “...You...only do these kinds of things...to your lover. When...doing things for them just isn’t enough...and you want to express to them...how much they...really...mean...to you...” Elsword bit his lip to prevent himself from crying the hundredth time. “...Sorry...but I...I need to use the bathroom...if you don’t mind...”

            Without protest, Ain’s hands slipped away and he got off. Had he been wrong about earlier...? Ain just couldn’t understand. Now that he thought about it...what _did_ Elsword want? As Elsword closed the door behind him, Ain felt a twinge of guilt and shame. He didn’t realize those kinds of things were...important. He curled up on his side, wondering how he could make it up to Elsword.

            Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Elsword sat on the floor, muffling his sobs and pouring out his tears. It hurt...it hurt so damned much.


	10. Insecurity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsword and Ain arrive at Elsword's friend's house. Elsword discusses plans with his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> x.x This chapter is longer than my usual ones. I hope the contents of it makes sense;;;  
> Thank you as always for the comments and support~ :D  
> I've been busy TuT Thank you for your patience~  
> Ah yes, I forgot to mention that I changed my username~! (used to be Hanbell)

It had gotten quiet and awkward between Ain and Elsword. Every time Ain wanted to say something, Elsword would evade him by bringing something up or saying he had something to do. All Ain wanted to do was to apologize. Had...he hurt Elsword that much?

-/-/-

            Elsword pulled up to a grand looking beach vacation house. Palm trees lined the pathway, modern windows blared in the sunlight, and the décor was fancy.

            Without looking at Ain, Elsword stated, “We’re here. This is my friend’s house I was talking about. I need to talk to him about something important.”

            Ain wondered what could be so important with some other friend. Elsword said Ain was important...but Ain was starting to have his doubts.

            As if reading his mind, Elsword sighed and held out his hand towards Ain. “...Sorry, Ain...I’ve been...” With his other hand, Elsword covered his mouth in thought. He removed it to reveal a smile. “Let’s go meet my friend.”

            Ain didn’t want to meet this “friend.” But, if it made Elsword happy...Ain took Elsword’s hand and followed him to the door of the house. As Elsword rang the doorbell, Ain said to him, “...I’m...the one who should be sorry...Sorry...Elsword...”

            There was a long pause. Ain couldn’t see Elsword’s face. What kind of face was he making, he wondered? Before Ain could get an answer, a spiky blond young man with a fancy blue vest and sterling white pants opened the door. “Ah! I’m presuming you’re Elsword?” He inquired.

            “Yep that’s me! This here is Ain, the one I told you about. Ain, this is Chung, my friend,” Elsword piped. It was as if Ain never said anything.

            Chung observed Ain who was giving him a blank stare. He eyed at Ain’s marred skin. “I could let some professional doctors take a look at him to see what’s wrong.”

            Ain gripped tighter onto Elsword’s hand. “...Um...thanks...but he’s fine. We...aren’t too fond of doctors.”

            “I understand. Come in.” Chung led them through the house and out towards the garden. “Ain, you can roam around if you want while me and Elsword have a chat.”

            Ain hesitated but Elsword gave him a reassuring smile. Reluctant, Ain let Elsword slip his hand away from his. He then watched the two disappear inside the house.

            Chung led Elsword to the living room and he made the two of them Earl Gray tea. “Why don’t you confess already?” Chung asked as he sat down on the couch.

            Elsword twitched but before he could answer, someone called out, “Chung? Who’s that?” A purple pigtailed haired girl wearing a short pink dress came from the hallway.

            “Oh, a friend of mine.” Chung pointed to the girl. “That’s my girlfriend, Aisha.”

            Elsword seemed more preoccupied with getting his business done than meeting new people. He gave a short salute before staring back down at his tea. However, this seemed to be the opposite for Aisha... “He looks...interesting.”

            “I get that a lot,” Elsword remarked. He hated it sometimes. Why did people care so much about his appearance? At least Ain didn’t care...Elsword’s heart continued to race from Chung’s question. ‘ _Ain..._ ’ Elsword thought. He hadn’t been away from him long but his heart longed to go back to his side.

            “We’re discussing something important. Oh yeah, he brought someone with him so don’t be scared if you see somebody you don’t know,” Chung said, hinting that Aisha should leave.

            “Okay, I’ll see you later...then,” Aisha smiled as she took one last look at Elsword. She then turned and disappeared.

            “Now about what we were talking about...”

-//-/-

            The strong briny scent of the ocean tickled Ain’s nose as he examined his surroundings. The garden was small with only a few flower patches. The rest was green lawn and the beach. He eyed a little cute daisy and plucked it. It reminded him of Elsword somehow. Perhaps he’ll give it to him. “So you must be his friend?” Aisha called from behind him. Ain froze for a bit and almost panicked. “Don’t worry I’m...Chung’s friend.” Ain relaxed a tiny bit but he was still nervous to be talked to by someone he didn’t know. He turned to face her. Upon seeing him, Aisha flinched. “Oh! I mean...you have...such long hair.” Ain was used to those kinds of reactions. That didn’t mean that he liked them, however. He gazed down at his “ugly” hand. Only Elsword looked at him filled with warmth and nondiscrimination. “So...you’re the one he likes?” Ain tilted his head in confusion. What did she mean? Who was she talking about? Seeing Ain’s confusion, Aisha furrowed her brows. “You know...your friend.”

            ‘ _Ah...she’s talking about Elsword..._ ’ Ain figured. “...Mmm...he likes me...” Ain replied.

            “No!” Seeing Ain reply as if it were nothing ticked her off. “Not like that! He doesn’t love you, does he?”

            “...Love...?” Ain tried to remember about that word he read. Elsword said something about only lovers do certain things too... Ain would have said yes...if it hadn’t been for recent events. It made no sense. Love...Ain tried to remember, was when you...really...care...about...someone...Something was turning inside Ain’s head. But then that was confusing...Elsword never did once tell him that he loved him...did he? Ain couldn’t remember. Did Ishmael ever tell him that she loved him? Now that Ain thought about it...did he ever love Ishmael? “...No...” The word slipped out.

            Aisha sighed in relief. “Of course...why was I so worried. Who would love and care that much about someone like you? I mean...you seem like a burden to him to be honest...”

            Something snapped within Ain. “You’re wrong!” He retaliated with a slight hint of aggressiveness. Aisha looked surprised. “He told me...Elsword told me that I’m not a burden and he didn’t lie! I’ll ask him, you’ll see! I’ll ask him if he loves me!” Ain wasn’t sure what he was saying. The words were just tumbling out. Perhaps it was because he didn’t want to believe what she said. Or perhaps it was because he believed in Elsword more than anyone or anything. Or maybe...he was afraid...Without Elsword...he’ll be alone... ‘ _Elsword..._ ’ Ain felt vulnerable and wanted so much to be within Elsword’s comfort again.

            “And if he doesn’t...?”

            The words hung in the air and ached Ain’s heart like settling winter cold air. His eyes trailed to the floor. Ain had no answer.

-//-//--

            “You love him, don’t you?” Chung pressured.

            “I...I didn’t come to talk about that. Look...I need your help. The gang is already after me. I need you to hide or keep my inheritance money and valuables. That’s what she wants,” Elsword stressed.

-/--//

            It was about a week after Elsword admitted Ain into the hospital. The medical staff had asked him where their legal guardian was in which Elsword replied that he didn’t know. The staff went on to explain that the bills were needed to be paid or else they couldn’t treat Ain. Desperate, Elsword rushed back towards their house and rummaged around for any money he could find. Now that Elsword thought about it, how could they put so much responsibility upon a poor kid? There wasn’t much money around the house. Perhaps he would have to sell what was in here...

Maybe his own house had money? Elsword ran into the forest trying to remember where his old home was. After hours of searching, he came upon his house. He was all scratched up and tired from branches and trekking on uneven ground. His house looked the same as he left it from a faraway glance. He walked up the wooden steps and noticed the mail box was over stuffed with bills, advertisements, and letters. Out of curiosity, he went through the mail tossing aside bills that he couldn’t pay and old coupons that were expired. Then his heart froze. Hidden among the junk mail was a letter from his father. It was a single letter and nothing more. He stuffed the letter into his pocket before opening the door of his house. He wondered if people came to rob even though the house was in the middle of nowhere. At one point the mailman gave up delivering here and marked this house as dead. What will everything look like after such a long time? He pushed the door open and to his surprise, was greeted by his sister.

“Oh! Hello little brother~ It’s been awhile. I was starting to get worried,” Elesis said. Around her were people Elsword didn’t recognize.

“...Big...sis?” Elsword asked as if what he was seeing wasn’t real. Tears sprang into his eyes as he ran and hugged his sister. “I missed you! What happened? Why are you back? What about dad?”

“There...there...” Elesis patted Elsword’s head. “But...father, he’s dead.” Elsword wasn’t sure what was more shocking; the fact that his sister said that in a calm tone or the fact that his father was dead.

“...He’s...dead?” It was starting to hit Elsword. “Dad is...”

“Yes. He died while fighting. He left a will, but we can’t find it.”

Elsword slipped away from Elesis and looked up. The house was a big mess. Everything was torn off the walls and things were ripped up. He saw some of the people counting money on the table. This was too much to take in and Elsword started to feel sick. This person...wasn’t his sister...she changed. But...she was all the related family he had left and he needed help...Elsword wanted to burst into tears. “B-Big S-sis...I-I-I need money...”

“Oh? Well we all here do. But since we can’t find the will, I have a better idea...”

            And that’s how the gang was established.

-//--//

            “They aren’t safe with me. After all...my dad willed everything to me. And if she finds that out...I’m not sure what she’ll do. She might kill me even though I’m her brother. She’s not sane. She’s not my sis...I...” Elsword felt so overwhelmed as he tried to explain.

            “...Just...what exactly did your father leave you?” Chung asked.

            “There was a deposit box at the bank. In it was the deed to the property and house. Our birth certificates...There was also his first cloak...”

            “They don’t seem like things to go crazy over.”

            “...Here.” Elsword took out a single ring from his pocket. The light glinted off the rare blue diamond surrounded by speckled white diamonds encased in gold metal. It gave off a regal aura.

            “That’s!?” Chung almost dropped his cup of tea.

            “Mmm...I don’t know why he had this. I’m guessing it was my mom’s but I’m not sure.”

            The shape was unmistakable. It was one of the rarest rings in the world. “Is...is this real?”

            “A hundred percent real. I checked with many jewelry shops.”

            Chung gripped his tea cup. “...That thing is worth millions...”

            “Maybe he worked and had connections, I don’t know. But what I do know is that my sis wants this. Besides the items, there was also a good amount of money my dad saved. I’m surprised because of how he lived. That’s why...I need you to keep this safe for me. The money, letter, and other stuff too. That way...she can’t kill me. I can’t...I can’t die now, Chung.”           “Because he needs you?”

            Elsword averted his eyes and blushed. “Ain...needs to be taken care of. I can’t leave him alone. I can’t leave...a friend alone.”

            “Does this money mean anything to you? Can’t you just give everything to her?”

            “...I think...that would have worked before. But...she’s gone insane... If I die, everything automatically goes to her. Right now, she thinks I don’t know anything. She chasing me down because she knows she needs me to get these stuff. I overheard her speaking about my dad mentioning to her about the will and the ring to the gang. The reason why she’s keeping me alive is because she doesn’t know what the will says or even where it is; which is this letter I have. She also needs me alive to provide proof that we’re related since she doesn’t know where the legal documents are; which I also have. She’s been getting worse and worse. I’m pretty sure either of the two things will happen: Once she gets everything from me myself, she’s going to kill me or she’ll provide proof that she’s my sister then kill me to get the stuff.”

            “...But why? Isn’t she your sister?”

            “Like I said...she changed. She’ll probably make sure that there would be no way I can take the things back. The will gave everything to me assuming that my sis wouldn’t make it either. She might also be afraid that I go rat her and her friends out. I gained her ‘trust’ but after running away, once she captures me, she’s going to keep me captive until she finds the will, provide proof that she’s related to me, and then kill me. Or, she’ll try to force me to give everything to her, like you said, but that would be difficult because according to her, I have nothing to lose and it’ll be hard to make me do anything. And she can’t kill me unless I take out the stuff. But right now, she doesn’t know I took everything out.”

            “Okay...I believe I understand the situation now. I’ll hide the things for you. I could keep you safe as well...”

            “I can’t stay. That’ll put you in danger. They don’t know I’m friends with you. All they know is that I ‘stole’ from you. It wouldn’t even cross their minds that you would help me.”

            Chung laughed. “I remember when you came into my property. It’s just a past time amusement of mine to see what kind of people try to steal.”

-//--///

            After Add had told him where the stash was, Elsword got to work. He needed the money if he was going to bust out of this city with Ain. If worse comes to worse, Elsword would be forced to withdraw money from the inheritance. If Elesis found out...

            The white and blue house on Resiam street seemed to be an ordinary house. It looked a tad fancier than the rest of the houses in the neighborhood but not by a landslide. Elsword crept into the backyard and found a window to pry open. It led into the kitchen and to his amazement no alarm sounded. Excellent. Also to his surprise, the house was rather empty with only a few furniture and nothing else. He made his way to the bedroom and creaked the door open. There lay a massive blue bed with the pillow with a crown embroidered in it. Elsword guessed that no one came here because there seemed to be nothing here. He was sleek as he snuck towards the pillow and stuffed his hand in it. Inside were wonderful wads of cash.

            “So, who are you?” A voice from the darkness asked. Elsword’s heart froze as he turned his head to see Chung staring at him with his arms crossed. He glanced at the window. The bedroom was on the second story so it wouldn’t be wise to jump out. But, he can’t be caught here! His mind raced wondering what to do. He didn’t want to hurt or kill this guy, that was against his code.

            So, Elsword just rolled with it. “...I’m...sorry...I...please don’t call the cops. I’ll leave the money alone...just please let me go...” Looks like he’ll have to withdraw money after all.

            “You didn’t answer me. Who are you? Why do you want this money?”

            Elsword felt more panic rise up his throat. “I’m...Elsword...My friend...I...I needed to pay the hospital bills and...” He felt like crying again. He held his hands in front of his face to hide the springing tears from this stranger.

            “...Take it.” When Elsword placed his hands in front of his face, Chung saw the bloodied bandages. “...Change those bandages too.”

            Elsword couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was this a trap? He glanced up at Chung who was giving him a sympathetic gaze. “...Please help me...” Elsword whispered without meaning to.

            “...Tell me what’s going on.”

            Elsword had burst out about how he was being treated and about Ain’s treatment and condition. He couldn’t take it anymore. At the end, Chung had told him that he could come to him if he ever needed anything. He handed Elsword the money and told him to get going.

It was already way past the time Elsword was supposed to visit Ain. He rushed out of the house and ran down the street towards the hospital. However, just as he turned the corner, a hand jerked him from behind and slammed him against the wall.

“Where are you going...little brother?” Elesis seethed in a threatening but calm cold voice.

“B-b-big Sis...I...” Elsword attempted to answer. His back was dull from pain.

Elesis tucked her long red hair behind her ears, eyes darkening as she eyed the cash in Elsword’s arms. “Where did you get that?”

            “I...this...I...please don’t take it from me! I...I need this!” Elsword was trembling as tears pricked his eyes.

Elesis wrapped her icy fingers around Elsword’s neck. Her fingers squeezed tighter and tighter leaving purple marks. Elsword didn’t struggle much but he felt dazed and was about to faint if she hadn’t let go. He hacked and coughed. He glanced up at cruel empty eyes. “...I love you _so_ much...little brother...” Elesis unsheathed a sharp knife and scrunched up some of Elsword’s pants and began hacking the knife against his legs. Each slash burned but Elsword gritted his teeth and endured. He should be used to this...but every time this happened, he couldn’t help but to feel helpless, scared, and of course, in pain. There was just no true way to describe it. Every once and a while Elesis would wipe the blooded knife on Elsword’s white shirt. The slashes weren’t big or deep and she did the same to his back. After beating him a little, causing for more bruises to form later, she stopped. All the while she had done this, she emitted a creepy and chilling laugh. “...I feel better...I’ll let you have it...today...” She then disappeared leaving Elsword to cry in a huddled lump upon the floor as blood trickled from his cuts.

As Elsword thought about these past events, he wondered how he himself was sane. When those moments of abuse happened, he would remember that sometimes his mind would go numb, aware but unaware of what was happening...

After he recovered somewhat, he had gone to the hospital, dumped the money on the front counter, washed and bandaged some of his wounds, and dashed to see Ain. The worry and willpower overcame the searing aching pain that coursed throughout his body...

\--//-/--//

            Elsword breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay...thanks,” he said.

            “But really, I don’t understand why you don’t just tell him you love him. You seem pretty close and I don’t think he’ll reje—“

            “Just drop that already! I can’t! I just can’t, okay?!” Elsword gripped his knees tight.

            “And why?” Chung stared at Elsword for a few seconds. “...Is it...because of the situation you’re in right now...where...you don’t...know what’s going to happen?”

            There was a pause. Elsword averted his eyes and his tone shifted. “...Yes... that’s...exactly why. What if...something happens to me? It’ll hurt Ain even more...He’s...suffered enough already...at the very least...If...I can’t make it; I want...him to be happy...even if it’s without me...Besides...” Elsword stared at his bandaged hands. “...He deserves so much better than me...”

            Something seemed...off but Chung ignored it. “...In my opinion I don’t think he could be any happier than being with you, sir.”

            Elsword laughed but it was hollow. He got up. “Anyways...please hide the things somewhere...me and Ain will keep on running...As much as I would love to leave Ain in your care...because that way he’ll be safer...he...”

            “He needs you.”

            Elsword blushed. “...Yeah...Maybe...I’ll figure something out and how to stop my sis once and for all. Money won’t be enough now.” He bit his lip and turned to retrieve Ain. “...Thanks again...I’ll...see you later.” He left the room and headed towards the garden.

            “Call me if you need me!” Chung called out. Elsword waved his hand and disappeared outside.

            “Ain~!” Elsword called with a happy smile on his face.

            “...Elsword...” Ain said in response as he bounded towards Elsword. It was as if the warm sun had shone upon his soul. The fears and questions from before had vanished in a diminished haze.

            “Wait! I wasn’t done with you!” Aisha protested.

            “...Look...here...it’s for you...” Ain ignored Aisha as if she didn’t even exist as he placed the small daisy into Elsword’s hands.

            Elsword’s expression turned soft and gentle. So much so that Aisha and Ain couldn’t stop staring with blushes on their faces. “...Thanks, Ain. It’s cute, just like you,” Elsword commented. He took Ain’s hand. “I’m done so it’s time to go now.” Elsword waved at Aisha and led Ain back towards the front. “Let me just drop some things here and we’ll get going.”

            “...Where are we going now?” Ain noticed that Elsword’s hand was shaking a little.

            Elsword paused and stared at the broad sky dotted with large fluffy clouds. “Wherever you want, Ain. Wherever your heart desires.”


	11. Blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ain confronts Elsword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankies as always for the comments, support etc.~ TuT Ahhhhhh I've been waiting to write this chapter~~ I hope I was able to convey emotion and feeling in this ;u;
> 
> This chapter takes place around two weeks after the last one.

Ain reached out his hand to tug Elsword’s shirt from behind but he missed by a few centimeters. Elsword’s name was stuck in his throat. Elsword was walking further and Ain started to become afraid. He was about to force himself to shout until Elsword turned around with a concerned face.

            “Ain?” Elsword questioned. He walked back to Ain and took his hand. The moment Ain felt Elsword’s warm hand, peace surged through him. “...Are...you okay, Ain? You’ve been out of it these days...but then again...so am I...” Elsword squeezed Ain’s hand as he stared up at the sky.

            “...Elsword...” Ain mumbled.

            “Hm?”

            Ain wanted to ask the question. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. Elsword stared at him, patient and waiting. But, Ain felt an awkward distance between him and Elsword. For some reason, it was as if he wasn’t as close as he used to be. It didn’t make any sense to Ain though. They were close in a physical sense; always seeing each other every day. However, there was an emotional wall that seemed to be blocking them in between. Maybe it was because of that night Ain pinned him... “...Sorry...” Ain felt terrible. He still hadn’t made it up to Elsword even though he already apologized once.

            Elsword looked away and said nothing. The atmosphere felt a bit tense and cold. “...For what?” Elsword asked in a slight harsh tone. Ain felt his heart sting. He couldn’t see Elsword’s face but he would be afraid to anyway. Elsword...never talked to him like that...Then it must be...pretty bad after all... “You didn’t do anything...You never did.” There was an edge to his last sentence. That didn’t relieve Ain’s unsettling feeling. Instead, it made him feel like he did do something. Elsword turned towards the sidewalk and pulled Ain behind him, not saying another word.

-/-/-

            Ain sat on the park bench deep in thought and sadness. Elsword had gone to buy drinks nearby. At this point, there’s no way Elsword loved him. But it didn’t seem like he hated him either. Why was Elsword being so cold? Ain stared in front of him. There was a man kneeling down giving a ring to a woman with a surprised look on her face. Ain wondered what they were doing. Before he gave it more thought, Elsword held an open bottle in front of him.

            Elsword’s eyes trailed from Ain’s eyes towards the people. A look of sorrow touched his face. “The guy wants to marry that girl,” Elsword said. Ain gave him a quizzical look. “In other words...he wants to spend his life with her...” In a lower voice Elsword added, “...Because he loves her.” Ain stared at the couple and back to Elsword. They were spending their life with each other right now. What was the difference? Ah, that’s right...Elsword...doesn’t...Ain stopped himself. He wasn’t sure about it yet. Elsword scowled. “But you know, most marriages end up in divorce. They cheat on each other or fight and whatever and they don’t wanna see each other anymore so they split.” Ain wasn’t sure how to respond to that. His eyes lingered upon Elsword’s hand. As much as he wanted to hold it, he was afraid that Elsword would direct that scowl to him. So, he kept his hand on his bottle and watched the water slosh inside.

/-/-/-/

            Rain was pattering outside the hotel room’s window. Elsword sat on the bed flicking channel after channel not being able to decide what he wanted to watch to distract himself. Ain lay curled up staring at Elsword. The scene of that afternoon replayed in his head. What if...Elsword didn’t love him like Aisha suggested? Will Elsword...leave him behind? Ain’s eyes stung. He then had the urge to hold on to Elsword as if it would prevent him from slipping away. The bed creaked as he shuffled closer and tugged Elsword shirt. Ain glanced up. Elsword made no movement to look at him. Ain’s lip quivered a bit. He then decided to call out his name. “...Elsword...?”

            There was a short pause before Elsword answered. “...Yeah?” He replied blunt.

            Ain stared at his hand that held onto Elsword’s shirt. It was as if he could already see his hand seep through the shirt. Everything inside him quivered. He had to know. He just had to. Ain gathered what little courage he had and asked in a small quiet voice, “...Do...you...love me?” It came out somewhat choked but it was audible.

His question hung in the air. An immense heavy silence blanketed the room. The volume of the TV had been muted and only the rain was making noise. Ain soon regretted asking. His fingers began to shake as he held on. Maybe he can change the subject? Maybe he can take the question back? But then...he must know. He has to know...because if Elsword...hated him...then...

            For a while, Elsword stared blank at the TV as if he didn’t hear Ain right. However, the words were clear and echoed in his head. Elsword opened his mouth but then closed it again. Needles prickled his chest and heart. He felt his mouth and throat dry and when he spoke, the word came out as a croak. “...I...” He began. This question was unexpected. Very unexpected since it came from Ain. How does he even answer? Why was Ain asking this? But...Elsword felt so conflicted inside of himself. The reason why...the real reason why he didn’t upright tell Ain that he loved him was because... “...I...need to...go to the bathroom—“

            Without meaning to, Ain tugged harder on Elsword’s shirt. His heartbeat hastened as he searched his mind for a response. He didn’t mean to try to hold Elsword back but now that he did... “...Ah...”

            Elsword reached down and placed a hand on Ain’s. “...Ain.” Elsword attempted to remain calm. He was about to nudge Ain’s hand away when he was stopped.

            “Y-You always do this!” Ain shouted, not staring direct at Elsword but rather the blankets. Ain panicked and he was regretting every single action he was doing right now. He didn’t mean to shout at Elsword. Will Elsword be mad at him? Will he hate him now? ‘ _I’m sorry!...I didn’t mean to!...Please don’t leave me alone..._ ’ Ain thought.

            Elsword tried to laugh it off but his laugh was hollow and uneasy. “W-what are you talking about Ain I—“

            “...Y-you...you always try to avoid me when I start asking you certain things!” There was no turning back now.

            “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about—“

            “Stop lying to me!!” Ain had shouted at the top of his lungs. No sooner than he let that phrase out did he cover his mouth with his free hand.

            That line stabbed Elsword right in the chest. It was as if a lightning bolt zapped him. He began to tremble, his lip began to quiver, and his eyes tingled. He desired so much to be out of that room. Instead of answering, Elsword tried to get away but Ain held tight. “L-let me go.” His voice wasn’t demanding. Instead it sounded scared and it shook.

            “N-no!” Ain pulled Elsword down onto the bed and pinned him like he did the other day. Elsword averted his eyes as he tried to struggle free. However, Ain’s weight on top of him was too much. Elsword himself was already tired and aching. Ain in contrast had been getting healthier and heavier. A pained expression was etched onto Ain’s face. “...Please...answer me...Do...you love me...Elsword?”

            Another long silence passed as Elsword bit his lip. Ain could feel the trembling in Elsword’s arms. Elsword inhaled a sharp breath and his arms went limp in defeat. In a quiet voice he said, “...Of course I love you, Ain...” He couldn’t hold back any longer and the tears burst out. He whimpered as he tried to hold back his sobs.

            “Elsw—“

            “OF COURSE I LOVE YOU, DAMN IT! I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH!!” Elsword screamed as he faced Ain, tears streaming down. In that instant, when Ain saw Elsword’s tears, a loss of words and another weight of guilt piled up upon Ain. This was the first time Elsword had ever cried in front of him. His mouth was agape in shock. “I’ve loved you all this damn time! But...but...why does that matter to you now? All this time...all this fucking damn time...you never even looked at me! It was always Ishmael this Ishmael that! What about me?! **_I_** love you, Ain!! And I’ll never stop loving you...Even if you don’t want me, even if you don’t love me back. I never abandoned you, and I never will! I always stood by your side... You mean everything to me...And yet...and yet...” Elsword felt so broken. He laughed another hollow laugh. “...Am I...nothing to you?” Elsword felt so disgusting and ugly spouting out his selfishness. Unable to say anymore, Elsword just broke down sobbing.

            Ain’s grip lessened until he slipped his hands off. Too many things churned within him to give any response. He only found himself getting off of Elsword, off the bed and backing away. What had he done? He didn’t realize that he hurt Elsword this much...He was so sorry. He felt so sorry. How was he going to fix this? He should never have asked. Ain didn’t know what to do. He held his head in his hands as his back slid against the wall until he was sitting on the floor. Another silence, except for Elsword’s crying, stretched. Ain didn’t look up when the bed creaked after. Elsword’s crying had stopped. The door opened and clicked closed. Ain felt horrible and that there was no redemption to fix their relationship.

-/-/-

            With dull eyes, a blank face, and tears still streaming down his eyes, Elsword wandered aimless from the hotel and into the rainy streets outside. His mind was clouded and he felt so empty as the rain drenched his hair and clothes. He turned around a corner into a street where the streetlight was broken and flashing red. Everyone was hidden inside due to the rain and the dark. However, a lone figure stood in the middle of the street, glaring at Elsword. The flashing red illuminated the person’s dark clothes.

            Standing there was the person with the blue eye sweater.


	12. Scarred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsword faces danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankies as always for support, comments etc. :D   
> I really liked how I wrote this chapter~  
> Also I apologize for lacking in updating and being late for responding--- TuT not so good stuff happening to me but I'm hoping it'll get better~!

Elsword knew this feeling all too well as it crept up his leg and straight into his chest like a snake: fear. The feeling kept on rewinding but no matter how deep or many times it repeated itself, Elsword still felt indifference. His body knew that it had to flee and so did his instincts. But, his mind had become numb from the many alerts he received from his physical self over the years and in the end, it gave itself over to acceptance. So, he just stood there staring at the malicious figure walking towards him in the cold soaking rain.

            “...Remember me...?” The abusive caretaker from long ago asked in a hoarse voice once he was a foot away from Elsword.

            Emptiness occupied Elsword inside and he couldn’t find the motivation to speak. Despite being all wet himself, his throat was dry. Half of him knew who this person was and half of him wanted to disbelieve it. Was this...a dream? He wanted to believe that this was some kind of sick nightmare. After all...how could this person find them here when they had traveled so far?

            The person searched Elsword’s dull eyes for some kind of reaction but found none. “...Tell me...Where’s Ain?”

            At the mention of Ain, Elsword blinked a few times and came into focus. _‘...Ain? ...Ain...Ain!_ ’ Elsword screamed within his mind. The seriousness of the situation rolled him over with a heavy boulder and he found himself taking a few steps back. He couldn’t let this person find him. He darted his eyes around looking for a way to escape. The previous event blew out of his head. What was important now was that Ain was safe.

            “...Not going to answer? That’s fine...I’m not after him right now...Rather...I was looking for you,” The person seethed as they drew a knife that glistened in the rain and streetlights. The darkness and the red illumination portrayed an eerie, creepy, and terror filled vibe. At this, Elsword turned and ran.

            Where to go? Elsword also had to be careful for the slipperiness. He dashed into alleyways and clambered up fences and walls trying to lose this person but every time he looked back, that person was right on his tail. He reached a ladder attached to a fire escape and climbed it. His foot slipped on one of the rungs and his heart felt as if lurched out of his throat. The person grabbed his ankle and yanked him down to the dirty alleyway floor. Elsword’s back felt numb from the impact of the floor. He tried to blink away the constant raindrops that fell upon his eyes and face. In the blur he could see the glistening knife hoovering over him.

            “...You’re in the way...So if I can just get rid of you...Ain will be under my control...” The person murmured.

            The fear broke through like a spear through glass. This time, Elsword became aware of how his heart beat fast, his breath shortening, and the terror at the thought of what would happen to Ain if himself was gone. The person was squatting above him giving Elsword room to reach into his pocket to retrieve his pocket knife. He stabbed the person’s leg and maneuvered underneath them. The person cried out in pain, cursed and whipped around to stab Elsword who in return dodged but slipped and fell onto the floor. Elsword rolled to the side and got up. The person swung wild hoping to strike him. Each swing was dodged until the person threw the knife, unexpected, and made a slash on Elsword’s cheek. This surprised Elsword at that fraction of a second which gave an opening for the person to pounce on him, knock him onto the floor, and wring their hands around Elsword’s neck.

            The person laughed. “...Now...now you can’t get away...I’ll tell you something...something before you die...But first you’re wondering how did I find you, yes?” Elsword’s left hand scratched the pavement. He could still breathe but it was difficult to do so. The person’s hands felt as if they were searing into his neck. Elsword’s mind stuck upon trying to find a way to survive. “...Your buddies...they found me and told me about you...And how and why they found me...was thanks to a purple haired little girl. After a little chat with them, I was supposed to dispose of cute little Ain. But of course, I don’t want that. And since they had an idea of where you went, all it took was just some time, some planning, and well look here now...here you are...about to die in my hands. How lovely, isn’t it?”

            So the gang sold him out to this maniac. Elsword would have laughed if he wasn’t about to die. The memory of his sister’s own hands around his neck wafted by. His right hand gripped his knife. This person was too engrossed with killing him to notice it. He held back a little longer to hear the rest of what this person was going to say.

            “As for the secret...” The person leaned down and whispered into Elsword’s ear. The sentence he uttered sent a cold chill down Elsword’s spine. “...I killed Ishmael.” Elsword’s eyes widened with a tinge of shock and stupor. But soon, a heated rage flared within Elsword.

            “...So...it...was _your_ fault...” Elsword rasped. The person’s grip lightened a little in surprise at Elsword’s speaking. Elsword then took this moment to grind his knife into the person’s left hand. The person howled, releasing his grip. Elsword squirmed under the person’s weight, trying to stab any space he saw. The person scrambled off and searched for their knife. Something dark and brooding cloaked Elsword’s heart as he glared at the person. Without giving them a chance, Elsword lunged himself at them and began cutting, slashing and stabbing everywhere on that person’s body. The rage and anger boiled and burned until it burst forth like a long dormant volcano erupting after so long of a slumber.  “...It’s your fault...YOUR FAULT THAT AIN IS SUFFERING!!!” He shrilled into the thick night rain. His shrill rang upon deaf ears. Elsword felt the person’s hand brush against his knee. As a final measure, Elsword heaved his knife straight into the person’s heart. The hand fell splat onto the cold concrete. Elsword’s breath was heavy and his hands trembled. Pale stains of pink clung onto Elsword’s clothes and slight muddy smudges marked his face, hair and skin that poked out from his clothes. He broke from his trance and gazed before him. His heart froze. “...What have I done...?” The rain washed the blood away in a continuous fall but the color still remained. That sickening red color’s stench clung upon the dead body, the knife, and Elsword’s hands. Elsword shuffled back and away. He couldn’t tear his eyes off of what he had just done. The horror overtook him and he got up and ran away screaming. It was clear what had happened but yet it felt so unclear. Elsword wasn’t sure how long he was running or where he was. Exhaustion enveloped him and he slumped against a wall sobbing. Then, he became silent and dull, staring at nothing before him.

-/-/-

            After moments of rumination, something dawned upon Ain. Puzzle pieces clicked together after such a long time. The guilt tore through Ain’s chest and pulled him up on his feet. But also, a strange icky unsettling feeling coated his heart. What was this queasy aura that seemed to be flowing through Ain’s stomach and heart? Everything in his mind lay in a messy array of items. He couldn’t grasp what that “something” was. All he knew was that he must find Elsword. Ain’s feet stood glued to the floor. _Could_...things be fixed?  Wouldn’t it be awkward? Elsword’s words echoed within his head: _‘ **I** love you, Ain!! And I’ll never stop loving you...Even if you don’t want me, even if you don’t love me back. I never abandoned you, and I never will!”_ ’ Elsword loved him...Elsword loved him! Of course he’ll accept him. Of course everything would be okay. Aisha’s words faded into the abyss. Ain shook his head at himself for being so silly thinking that things were irreparable. Since when did Elsword ever shown him disgust or left him? Never. Elsword would come back to him yet, this time, Ain felt that it was his turn to go to Elsword. Right now, that’s what Ain wanted the most. He wanted to be right by his side; now and always. It wasn’t a matter of need anymore. Ain wanted. Ain desired. That tiny burning flame began to grow. He needed to apologize. He needed to make it up to Elsword. All the little details, all the moments, all the time... “...I was blind...” Ain muttered into the air. In particular, the moments of warmth and comfort Elsword gave him stood prominent in his memories. “...I just couldn’t let go...” An image of Ishmael appeared in his mind. Ain reached out to it but halted himself. Behind him, Elsword stood smiling, encouraging him to go on towards Ishmael. But Ain saw the sadness in his eyes. If Ishmael appeared again...would he go back to her? She left them, though. Ain couldn’t remember receiving any affection. She did take care of him, yes...but what was this somewhat hollow feeling? Ain thought back to when they left their home. If Elsword was here, Ain knew what he would do; He would continue walking forward. It was time for Ain to leave things behind. And this time, everything, so that he could look forward too. And maybe...just maybe he could see the same light Elsword was seeing. He turned away from the image of Ishmael in his mind and walked, no, ran the other way.

            Ain drew in a deep breath and sprinted out of the hotel into the drenched streets. Physical activity was not his forte and he found himself soon short of breath. Ain roamed everywhere, searching for Elsword in the pouring rain. Elsword was the only thing in his mind at that moment. Ain was desperate to find him, to hold him. That tear stained hurt face ached his chest. Ain stared ahead of him and he forgot to breathe as he saw Elsword slumped against a wall. He rushed over, slipping once, but clambered up again until he reached him.

            “Elsword!...Elsword!” Ain cried out in shortened breaths. Ain took Elsword’s face into his hands, sweeping away the damp bangs that clung to his face. He gazed into those crimson eyes that allured him only to find them almost lifeless. Ain noticed mud, injuries, and a metal like smell clinging onto Elsword. “...I am sorry...Elsword...please forgive me...Elsword...This really is all my fault...Elsword...” Ain held him tight but felt no warmth. The icy piercing rain didn’t help either. Ain felt exasperated and desired that his feelings reach Elsword. But, he felt as if they were hitting a wall. This may be all his fault but Ain knew that running wasn’t the answer. For Elsword, even though Ain was a problem, never ran away from him. Elsword...was always there. Always. Elsword had wanted him. “...Elsword...I want to feel...I want to understand... I want to be with you...I want to love you...” Ain spilled everything he could. Even he himself was still so confused. This feeling, he couldn’t place. All he knew was that he just wanted to be with Elsword. Ain gazed back into Elsword’s eyes but saw no reaction. He bit his lip and hauled Elsword into his arms. The task was a bit difficult but not impossible.

            The cold seeped into Ain’s bones. His bangs obscured his vision and he had to eye the sidewalk to make sure he didn’t misstep. It took him about two hours before he found the hotel again. As he made his way towards their room, a trail of water dampened the carpet after him. Once in their room, Ain placed Elsword into the tub. His arms ached from carrying Elsword for so long. Ain wondered how he even mustered enough strength to do it. Perhaps it was his sheer will to do anything he could for Elsword.

            Ain’s first thought was to give Elsword a bath. Ain himself shed off his clothes for he too needed a bath. “...Elsword?” Ain whispered as if he were afraid Elsword would scold him. But no reply came. Ain passed his hand in front of Elsword’s vision. It was as if Elsword was far off somewhere. There was no use asking. It’ll be okay, right? They took baths together before when they were young. Ain swept his bangs aside and kneeled to remove Elsword’s clothes and plopped them onto the tile floor. Ain gasped and his eyes widened as he saw the state of Elsword’s body. It had been a long while since he saw Elsword naked. Before Elsword’s body had been pure, clean, and soft. Now, it lay desecrated with many long huge and small scars. His body was not too different from Ain’s; marred and scathed. Ain saw hints of these wounds before, but never had he thought that it decorated Elsword’s whole body. Ain turned away and twisted the water on, fumbling trying to make it warm like Elsword always did. After a satisfactory warmth of water, Ain let it run and stepped into the tub sitting down behind Elsword. Elsword’s back had the most scars. With a trembling hand, Ain trailed his hands and fingers gentle over the past wounds. The skin’s ridges formed rough bumps under his touch. His hands wandered over to Elsword’s arms. He slid his hand under one of them and halted when he felt scars upon Elsword’s wrists. Ain’s grip tightened. “...Elsword...” Ain held Elsword tight as genuine soft tears escaped Ain’s eyes. As Ain felt all those scars, it felt as if Ain was getting to know Elsword for the first time. Each one of them held a memory, a story; A memory and story that Ain found himself desiring to know. A new emotion injected itself into Ain as he began to feel a miniscule bubble of anger along with his pangs of sorrow. Ain’s ill skin was something that couldn’t be prevented. But these painful wounds that healed into a permanent portrait of reminders could have; They all could have evaporated but yet they sat there as if someone loved to draw the same thing over and over so much that even if it were erased, a faded color would still be left behind. Who did this? Ain cursed his illness at that moment. He could have done something. He could have changed things. He could have realized that Elsword loved him sooner... “...Elsword...I...this feeling...I think I understand a little...I...You _are_ something to me...you are...everything to me too...because...you are all I have...you are all I need...you are all I want, Elsword.” Elsword gave no response nor did he move. “...I am really sorry...please forgive me...” The room remained silent except for the running water. The tears kept flowing and seeping into Elsword’s hair. Ain continued to hold him tight. “...Elsword...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really behind in my writings, but I have been working on past suggestions/requests etc.-- I have a few chapters of one of them, research notes on another, and outlines of the rest~ But I don't plan on posting them until I'm finished with my current stories. VoV


	13. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ain tries to take care of Elsword like Elsword did to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OTL I apologize for taking so long these months/days etc. I’ve gotten rusty a bit too. Things are now somewhat stable, my writer’s block is mostly gone, and I hope to finish my current fics + ones on the list before winter because of them 3rd jobs :’ )

Ain held Elsword tight against his body. Contrast from that rainy day some time ago, Elsword had become warmer. But even so, Ain felt as if he were still holding onto an empty shell. Ain wondered if Elsword had gotten any sleep. He tightened his grip. Feelings threatened to burst forth within Ain’s heart. However, he was more confused than anything else. What should he do now? They never remained in a hotel for more than one or two days. However, Elsword was in no condition to do anything.

            Ain slipped away from Elsword and off the bed to get him ready. When he saw his face, Ain’s heart ached. A glossy look coated Elsword’s eyes and they seem red from lack of sleep.

“Elsword...it is time to get up...” Ain murmured knowing that Elsword would not respond. Ain lifted Elsword out of the bed and attempted to do the same things Elsword had done to him such as changing his clothes, brushing his teeth, and feeding him breakfast. The tasks were quite difficult for Elsword didn’t make an effort to cooperate. Ain watched as part of a cookie fell for the seventh time, away from Elsword’s mouth. But, Ain wasn’t about to give up. Elsword never gave up on him so he was going to do the same...even though it was difficult and that Ain had no clear idea what he was doing.

            Should they leave the hotel? Elsword always was adamant that they leave as soon as possible. But where would they go? Where should Ain take them? What about the motorcycle? Ain couldn’t drive that. He felt stuck. Ain didn’t know what else to do so he sat on the bed holding Elsword in his arms, staring into the same space Elsword seemed to be staring at. This was something he was used to. Except now, he can see everything and he wasn’t alone. It made things feel all the more poignant.

            This continued for a few days and as Ain tried to take care of Elsword, he began to understand and realize the depths of just how much Elsword loves him. Sometimes, Ain would plead for Elsword to answer but he wouldn’t. Ain desired to hear Elsword’s voice again. The silence was unbearable. He already had to live through so many periods of deafening silence. Was this why Elsword always asked him menial things? Ain caressed Elsword’s face. “...Elsword...will you look at me again?” Ain kept on apologizing until his voice felt hoarse. However, no response ever came.

At one point, the front desk asked for payment. Good thing Ain had a general idea of how to pay watching Elsword all the time. He wasn’t sure how much money he had to give but the clerk was kind enough to show him. While Ain headed back towards the room, his vision turned black and he found himself upon the floor. Before he could say anything, he was gagged and dragged across the floor. He attempted to struggle but whoever was kidnapping him was too strong. He held out his hand in front of him. ‘ _Elsword...!_ ’ Everything then faded.

-/-/-/-

            Days passed as Elsword lay there on the bed, empty, and motionless save his breathing. His mind felt trapped in an endless fog. His brain tried, desperate, to erase the dark sickening vision and smell of blood. He could still see it. He could still smell it. He could still feel it trickle down his hands in an endless oozing waterfall. The scene kept on attempting to replay in his head but it was half blurred. Elsword kept trying to convince himself that it was necessary; that it was in self-defense. But the horror and trauma dug its claws deep into him. ‘ _I killed somebody...I killed a living person..._ ’ He kept thinking.  His bladder broke his rumination. Elsword staggered off the bed and into the bathroom. He peered at himself in the mirror. His face was disfigured in a contorted mess of stress. It was as if he was looking at an older version of himself. He glanced down at his palms. He could still see the blood washing off on his hands. A tiny consciousness kept him aware of at least his surroundings, preventing him from collapsing. After using the toilet, he washed his hands and face. That perked him up awake a bit. He glanced into the room. How long had he been here? Clothes lay scattered about and the bed was unmade. At that moment, fear killed his heart with a sudden arrow. Where was Ain? “...Ain?” Elsword croaked. Elsword rushed out, erratic, into the hallway and darted his eyes. He dashed to the counter. “H-how long had I been staying?”

            The clerk seemed worried. He recalled that this man arrived at the hotel with the other man who paid the other day. “About a month, sir...is there something the matter?”

            “Ain...have you seen...Ain?”

            “Ah...the gray haired man? He came to pay a few days ago...I haven’t seen him since...And he always comes out here in the mornings to head into the cafeteria...he’s not in the room?” Elsword shook his head before turning away.

            Elsword ran back into his room, threw on clothes and headed out. Ain would never leave him like that...would he? But Ain didn’t walk out the front door...Elsword dashed to his motorcycle but to his surprise, it was gone. “Oh no...oh no no no no no no....” Elsword ravaged the city like a madman shouting Ain’s name and asking people if they saw him. Elsword’s worse fear surfaced. He hoped that Ain remained alive.

            Things just felt as if they were getting worse and worse. Two conflictions and worries surged Elsword’s mind. But right now, Ain’s disappearance held his attention. Elsword grabbed his phone in the room, plugged it in to charge, and began dialing Chung.

            “Hey what— “ Chung began but was cut off.

            “Ain is gone!!! They took him! They took Ain! What do I do?!” Elsword exasperated.

            “C-calm down Elsword—“

            “I CAN’T! Ain if he’s gone...then--- “ Elsword sobbed and slumped to the floor. “Ain...Ain!”

            “PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN! Something will definitely happen if you don’t do something!”

            “But I...my hands I...How can I face him?”

            “What are you talking about?”

            A sudden realization had hit Elsword as he thought things over. “I...Chung...I...I haven’t told him but...I...I don’t deserve to—“

            “Elsword! What’s wrong?! This isn’t like you? You’re getting me confused!”

            “...They took my ride...”

            Chung remained silent for a short moment. That dodge and change of subject felt unsettling. “Elsword. Listen to me. I want you to tell me where you are. Don’t leave from your area. Got that? Elsword...? Elsword???!!” The line went dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *debates if I want to add more angst*


	14. I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsword's mind is still clouded but he still goes out to save Ain

_What was more important?_

            Deep within his heart, Elsword knew the answer. Yet, too many thoughts, worries, indecisions, uncertainties, and doubt continued to shred his mind into pieces. The overwhelming pressure casted a blank screen over his conscious. He knew what he wanted to do but at the same time, he was afraid. Tears ebbed his eyes as he dashed through the hotel entrance.

            “Elsword!” A voiced called him but he didn’t halt until an arm grabbed him. Elsword whirled around to see Add staring at him with a shocked and confused face. “Dude...what happened to you...?” Elsword gave no reply. Instead, he wasn’t quite sure what was going on and his mind was trying to process it. He looked so weary and tired with disheveled hair and clothes. Elsword gazed at the floor. “Well...I guess that doesn’t matter right now. You’re looking for your friend, right?”

            “...Let me go...please,” Elsword whispered. He didn’t want to be bothered yet at the same time he wished things would just fix itself.

            “I was. I just was going to tell you where he was...but in your state...Look I...I came to help because what they are doing just isn’t right. I couldn’t stop them or they would think I was suspicious. But...don’t lose him...” Add gazed off somewhere, a forlorn look stretched across his face. “Anyways, he’s at an abandoned warehouse down the street past the corner. Your sister isn’t here yet. This was all of--- “

            Elsword yanked his arm away and began running towards the area.

            “Wait! Elsword! ELSWORD!!” Add yelled from behind but was ignored.

            The rusty old warehouse seemed to be unguarded...unless they were inside. The garage sliding door was locked so Elsword tried to open a door that was off to the side of the building. It swung open with a creak. This, of course, was a trap but Elsword felt too engrossed in his inner turmoil. The light trickled into the dark warehouse causing for Ain, who was tied up at the far corner, to look up.

            “...Elsword? Is that you...?” The blare of light obscured most of his sight for that moment but Ain was sure that he saw a flare of red hair from the orange sun that peeked from the top of the outside roofs.

            Elsword froze. What was he going to say to him? Elsword felt as if it was his fault that Ain was kidnapped. It was his fault that he made Ain sad and suffer like this. Everything...his fault...

            “...Elsword?” Ain called again. He was confused as to why Elsword just stood there. It then dawned at him that perhaps Elsword was still mad at him. “...I...I apologize Elsword...I...I made you upset and...I really am truly sorry for my actions...”

            When Elsword heard Ain apologize, it only made him feel worse. All this time Ain thought it was his fault that Elsword was feeling out of it...but that wasn’t true...that wasn’t true at all! “...Sorry...Ain...It’s...me who has to apologize...that time...it wasn’t you...it was me...I...” Elsword drew in a deep breath but couldn’t utter the words, ‘ _I killed him_.’ Elsword trembled as he shuffled his way towards Ain. He knelt down and began untying him, his focus becoming somewhat clearer. “...It’s my fault that they kidnapped you. They just want me. Run, okay?” Elsword’s hands shook. He wasn’t sure what he was more afraid of at that moment. Was he scared that Ain might hate him for what he did? Was he scared that he’ll find out? Or was he afraid of what the gang will do to him when he gets caught? When Ain’s hands were undone, he grasped Elsword’s smaller hands firm. The touch spread a calming warmth from the palms to Elsword’s fingertips.

            “It will be okay...because you are here...besides me...and I am here, with you,” Ain whispered. A soft smile spread on his lips.

            “...Ain...” Ain didn’t know what these hands did... Before Elsword could say any more, the garage sliding door slid up with a cringing screech. The sound of clacking boots echoed in the room.

            “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the damn idiot,” Rose spat. “I honestly didn’t think you would just waltz in like that. I thought you were smarter than that. Glad I was wrong.” Rose’s eyes flickered towards Ain and their hands. She scowled and seethed her teeth. “I see. So it was more than I thought...” Rose let out a laugh. Behind her, all of the gang except for Add and Elesis appeared. A dark look passed her face once she finished laughing. “I hate you even more now.” She reached for her holster and pulled out her gun. It clicked as she loaded it. The rest of the gang held uneasy faces. They couldn’t tell if Rose meant to just scare him or not. Elesis was the scariest out of all of them but Rose was almost quite as scary. Raven and Rena seemed the most worried.

            “ROSE DON’T DO IT! ELESIS WILL BE FURIOUS!” Add came shrilling behind, exasperated from running there.

            “IT’S NOT FAIR! IT’S NOT FAIR AT ALL! WHY ARE YOU SO FORTUNATE?!” Rose screamed as tears streamed down her eyes. “I failed...I failed! SUFFER LIKE ME!”

            It happened all too quick to comprehend in the following long minutes. Behind, Add was trying to reach her. The rest of the gang tried to stop her. But they all had the wrong idea. Rose aimed the gun at Ain. An ear shattering gun shot rang throughout the room. And without a moment’s pause or thought, Elsword had embraced Ain, blocking the bullet’s path to its true destination. Everyone’s fears ended up being realized. The blood crept from the round wound from the center of his back like spilt water stretching across the floor. Of course, the shot hurt like hell but at the same time Elsword couldn’t tell if he could feel it. The warmth escaped fast and his arms were slaking. But with what strength he had left, Elsword gazed up at Ain. To him, this was just another time out of many where he saved Ain, perhaps the last. The secret was going to be buried with him. But this last passing moment, even though Elsword’s thoughts were filled with all the conflictions and fear, he forced himself to give a smile to Ain. His eyes felt so heavy. Everything felt so heavy...but at least...at the end, he protected Ain and that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter I'll try to put in more details. Later on I'll also try to explain/tell about what happened to/a little about the lives of Rose and the rest of the gang.


	15. Discolored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ain stared at Elsword lying motionless, his world lost its array of colors.

Death.

Dying.

Die.

Dead.

            Ain remembered reading those words somewhere but he didn’t quite understand them.

Sometimes, death is something some people can’t understand until it happens to them or before them. When it does happen, sometimes they even deny it that it’s happening or had happened as it flashes before their very eyes.

It didn’t hit Ain at first as Elsword laid motionless in his arms. His head swam in confusion. The gang members on the side argued and yelled like yapping hyenas as they restrained Rose who shrilled. But to Ain everything seemed to be clouded and muddled. In the distance, a siren wailed, coming closer as Ain tried to process everything. It felt as if the all the colors in his world, save for the color red, drained into a dull monochromatic scale as his mind began to understand.

His name. Ain wanted to call Elsword’s name but nothing came out of his trembling lips. His hands shook as he ran one through Elsword’s hair. His vison blurred from the tears that seeped from his eyes. Red...Ain never knew for it to be such a horrifying color as he stared at the blood staining Elsword’s shirt.

“ELSWORD!” Add shouted as he knelt down besides Ain. Ain made to move his arms but Add stopped him. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything bad.” An ambulance along with several police cars pulled up to the warehouse. “I felt that something like this was going to happen so I called them ahead of time. Over here!” As the ambulance staff rushed over, Add attempted to find a pulse. Before he could say anything, the staff began working to transport Elsword. Add had to hold his hand in front of Ain to stop him from preventing the people from doing their work. As soon as they finished loading and preparing, Add beckoned Ain to stand. “You’re going to follow them.” The ambulance sped away in loud blares. It took a moment before Ain could stand upon his legs which wobbled from uncertainty.

Meanwhile, the police were questioning and arresting the other gang members. Add talked to one of the police men and he was kind enough to transport Ain to the hospital Elsword was going to be at. “I can’t go with you now. Even though I should since you practically aren’t in any condition nor do you probably understand what’s going on. There’s a small chance. Hope on that small chance. Pray. Do something to believe I don’t care but don’t give up yet. You’re going to regret it if you don’t. I felt a faint pulse on him. But...the damages...I don’t know if they can save him...I know I said to hope but...Just go already.” Ain nodded slow and took his seat in the police car. Things were beginning to feel like a dream. Ain stared at his right hand. Some of Elsword’s blood had stained it. More tears splattered onto the outstretched hand as an aching pain rattled his chest.

“What’s your relationship with the victim?” The police at the front asked. Ain looked at him with despondent eyes. The police man averted his eyes. “...Friend?”

Ain drew his eyes to the passing trees outside the window. The following words that tumbled from his mouth came unexpected. “...That moment...he came back...” Ain recalled Elsword’s face as he smiled at him. In his eyes Ain saw a small flare of life before it was snubbed out. “...He was not mad at me at all...Things would have been okay...had he not...”

There was a small pause. “...I’m sorry...”

Ain didn’t understand why the policeman was apologizing when he did nothing wrong. “...Will he be okay...?”

“...We can only hope.”

“...It was...my fault...that he is hurt...” Elsword had said that it was his own fault but Ain couldn’t help but to feel different.

“...How so?” The police eyed Ain in the mirror.

“...If he did not protect me...if they did not take me away...”

“It’s not your fault. This is a common occurrence in gang related activities. So instead of feeling sorry, just be there for him when we get there.”

Ain said nothing more but he considered what the policeman had said. Once they got to the hospital, the policeman led Ain towards a waiting area, said his goodbye, and left.

Ain sat there, alone, wondering what in the world he should do and what would happen next.

-/-/-/

            Ain hated the hospital. Being stuck in one for so long, once he got out, he didn’t think he would be coming back. This hospital, of course, was not the same one he had stayed in but it still had that same bland blank white floor, those same bleaching white walls, the bright blinding white fluorescent lights, the clinging medical antiseptic smell, and the aura of death and despair. But this time, it wasn’t him being hospitalized. Ain continued staring down the long hallway hoping that someone, anyone, would tell him if Elsword was going to be okay. His hands were gripped tight together to keep them from shaking and as an attempt to stop his anxiousness. He wasn’t sure how long he had been waiting there. But, if no one came, that meant that they were still trying.

            About three hours later, Ain saw someone emerge in the hallway. However, it wasn’t whom he had expected.

            “Any news?” Add asked as he took a seat one seat away from Ain.

Ain shook his head. Ain wondered why this man seemed so concerned about Elsword. “...Are you...his friend?” Ain asked slow, being cautious. Ain knew that Elsword loved him but he couldn’t help but to feel a bit of wariness towards anyone who could possibly steal him away.

“...I wouldn’t exactly say ‘friend...’ You can call me Add.”

“...Ain...”

“Ain?” Add stared at Ain for a bit. He noticed that Ain’s eyes were red and could tell that Ain felt uneasy and anxious. However, since Ain lacked expression, he seemed to be hiding his emotions well even though it wasn’t intentional. Add’s eyes hovered to Ain’s tight grip and then averted his eyes. “...Don’t worry, he’ll be okay.”

“Mmm...” Another pass of silence occurred.

“The police...they asked me questioned and had me detained for a while. I explained the situation...but Rose got arrested. I’m not sure about the rest. I don’t even know where Elesis is.”

Ain gave Add a puzzled expression.

“You know...Elsword’s sister? The one who’s at fault for this?” Add pushed but received an even more confused expression from Ain as he cocked his head to one side. Ain tried to recall. Perhaps Elsword did mention his sister once but Ain couldn’t quite remember. “He...didn’t tell you anything?”

Ain’s heart sank. What was Add telling him? What did Elsword keep from him? Did he not trust him? “...Why...didn’t he?” Ain’s voice fell somber.

“Oh...oh boy...umm...look, Ain. I...I think he didn’t tell you for a reason. It was probably to...keep you safe. Like today, remember how you got kidnapped?”

It didn’t quite fit together to Ain but he nodded.

“...Well umm...this is awkward...I...If...when you get to talk to Elsword again, I think you should ask him directly why he didn’t tell you. But...as for other things you don’t know...just in case...I’ll explain things to you...there is a lot of time to spare.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter I will write about the gang members and as to why Rose acted the way she did.


	16. As He Waits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Add tells Ain of what little he knows about the other members

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When it comes to describing the injury, I apologize if it isn't correct.

“I don’t quite exactly know everything but I can tell you what I know and heard,” Add said as he looked ahead at the blank wall. “When I came into the gang, Raven, the long black-haired man, Rena, the green-haired one, and Ara, the one with heterochromia, were already in the gang along with Elesis. During the moment I joined, I was running away from…” Add glanced at Ain who seemed to be listening with intent eyes. “…bad people. They…wouldn’t let me do what I wanted to do and I had to do whatever they wanted me to do. I made it out before they could break me like I saw them break others…like this girl who was there too…this girl named Eve…but that’s just some other story I don’t want to talk about.” Add rubbed his temples and stared down the hallway. No one was coming. “Apparently, Raven, Elesis, and Rena were in the army together. Rena served as a spy while Raven and Elesis were generals. Once the war was over, it seems that Elesis went insane. At least that what Elsword mentioned once before. I don’t know the details. Then, she made the gang. There could be many reasons as to why. Maybe it was because she wanted more thrills, maybe she didn’t know what else to do, or maybe she needed the cash. That’s how it was for most of us anyway.”

            Ain took some strands of his hair and fiddled with them in his hand. “…Then…why did Elsword join…”

            “That…maybe his sister forced him to? I don’t know.” Add cast his gaze to the floor. “…You should probably ask him yourself.”

“…Will he…be able to answer?”

“Just hope Ain. Not all hope is lost yet. Anyways…Ara apparently joined for the thrill of it. She heard rumors of a new gang and wanted in on it. Lu and Ciel, the white-haired ones, came later. They were duo thugs and ruled the streets of a certain area. Elesis made them submit and they now stay with her.”

“…Just how scary is Elsword’s sister…?”

“She’s terrifying. Elsword’s completely afraid of her—” Add covered his mouth. “I mean…” Ain said nothing. However, his hand clenched tighter around his hair. “R-rose…the one who shot…Elsword, she came for money. She needed it for operations for someone close to her, but, I overheard that that person had died before she could raise enough money. After that, she didn’t really know what to do so she continued to stay with us…” There was a moment of silence. “…Other things, I guess, was strange like how this random purple haired girl found us and told us about you guys. Soon after her visit, some strange man in a hood came by. Elesis had some type of meeting and sent the hood man somewhere.”

Ain froze. “…Hooded…man?”

“Yeah. He had this weird eye pattern on the front.”

“…What happened to him?”

“You see, that’s the weird thing. He never came back so Elesis sent Raven and Ciel to figure out what happened. And the thing is…he was dead.”

Ain had so many questions. His mind swam with different thoughts. “…He’s…gone?”

“Yeah. He’s gone. Say…are you okay?” Ain said nothing but it was clear that he was disturbed. “Elesis had a hunch and told us to go find a base around this city. She was pissed that Elsword ran away from her. I’m not sure but I feel as if she had other motives as well. Rose found out where you guys were staying and the rest is history. Sorry I couldn’t warn you guys sooner. It would have been suspicious.”

“Where is Elsword’s sister now?”

“I don’t know. Nobody knows. The cops are looking for her right now.”

Just then, a doctor came down the hallway and stopped in front of them. “Are you related to Elsword?”

“He’s his friend,” Add said as he pointed to Ain.

The doctor looked grim for a moment. “We did all we could…but…unfortunately…” Ain held tight to his pants. His heart was about to break. “…the injury he received affected his spine and thoracic nerves around T3 – T5. He may well likely have paraplegia. However, he is alive.” When Ain heard “alive” he was more than happy. Tears of relief dropped from his eyes and he felt as if a heavy rock was removed from his shoulders. “You can visit him soon.” He felt glad that he could see Elsword soon.

When the doctor left, Ain turned to Add. “What did those other words mean?” Ain hadn’t researched medical terms before.

Add held a somber face. “…It means…it means…that his lower half of his body…may not be able to move anymore…” Add said, trying to simplify it as much as he could.

At this, Ain wasn’t sure how to feel. A cloud of dread wafted into him. He was glad Elsword was alive…but how is being stuck in one place being alive at all? It felt almost as if you’re dead. Ain knew that feeling best.  



	17. Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsword wakes up.

Elsword’s eyes fluttered open. The pale ceiling above was a familiar sight. Well, almost familiar. He glanced to his left to see Ain sleeping while holding his hand. What had happened? Elsword’s memory tried to clear itself and his body ached. He gripped Ain’s hand but his grip was weak. At this movement, Ain glanced up.

            “Elsword!” Ain shot up from his chair and brought his face closer. So many feelings swelled up in Ain’s chest. His world, after what seemed forever, began regaining its colors again.

            “…Ain,” Elsword whispered in a hoarse voice that was muffled by the oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth. Elsword tried to get up but couldn’t. His stomach dropped into a bottomless pit. That pit continued to stretch deeper and deeper. Elsword’s tears slipped off his cheeks in a continuous stream as he realized that he couldn’t move his legs at all.

            “…Elsword…” Ain embraced Elsword and cried with him. “I apologize Elsword…I apologize…” All Elsword could do was grip the ends of Ain’s shirt as they cried together.

            A few moments later, the nurse came in and alerted the doctor. Elsword had been out for about a week. The staff were amazed at the wounds that surrounded Elsword’s body. They were also amazed at his recovery speed. However, it remained that Elsword’s legs were paralyzed.

            After the room was cleared of doctors and nurses, the quietness ate away at the air. Ain wanted to say something but Elsword spoke first. “I’m glad you’re safe, Ain,” Elsword stated as he stared ahead at nothing.

            “How can you say that?!” Ain burst out, standing up. “Because of me you are—”

            Elsword widened his eyes and turned to face Ain. Never had he seen Ain so _alive_. Ain almost seemed radiant. “I’m sorry…I…no, it’s not your fault, Ain. Remember? It’s because…” Elsword trailed off. After a pause, Elsword whispered, “…I’m tired.”

            “Ah…please…please rest…” Ain sat back down.

            “Mmm…” Elsword turned away and closed his eyes.

/-/-/

            Elsword never felt so incapable before. Was this how Ain felt back then? In the following days, Ain took care of Elsword and helped him with everything. All the time, Elsword would apologize but Ain would just shake his head, understanding the feeling of helplessness and embarrassment. Even though Elsword could feed himself, Ain would do it instead. But, the most embarrassing thing for Elsword was using the bathroom. Not even receiving baths from Ain could compare to it. Elsword would look away and his grip would be tight on either Ain’s shirt, arms, or shoulders. Ain didn’t mind. He never once complained. They didn’t speak much but their actions were enough to convey how they felt. Ain would often squeeze Elsword’s hand or hug him. Every night, Ain slept by Elsword’s side on a chair, holding his hand. Elsword couldn’t help but to feel guilty. It didn’t help that he had other things on his mind that he kept hidden. He couldn’t wait until he was given permission use the wheel chair so that he could do something on his own again.

            When he could use the wheel chair, Elsword felt a bit relieved. Maybe now he wouldn’t have to rely on Ain so much. However, sometimes he allowed Ain to push him around in the wheel chair. He didn’t want Ain to be cooped up here any longer, but where else could Ain go?

-/-/-/

            Ain woke up to frigid air passing in from the window. Unlike the hospital room Ain stayed at before, this room’s blinds and window were opened from time to time, letting the morning light flood in. Ain realized that his hand wasn’t holding anything and that Elsword was vacant from the bed. This scared Ain and in immediate haste, he went to look for Elsword. Elsword always told Ain where he was going or Ain would be awake and take him. However, it wasn’t long before Ain found Elsword. Ain calmed down and began to approach Elsword but he halted at the scene before him. The morning gray light cast its glow upon Elsword’s face and hair as he stared with a melancholy face outside the large window. A few tears slid down his cheeks, dripping onto his blue medical gown. It was at this moment, without a sound, that Ain walked up to Elsword, bent down tucking his long hair behind his ear, and leaned in and kissed Elsword on his small soft lips.

            “I love you, Elsword,” Ain said as he pulled away. At first, Elsword’s cheeks flared up, and he stared at Ain, incredulous. But then his eyes began to cry again and he couldn’t find the words to say anything. But inside, Elsword felt as if the walls around his heart broke, leaving it bare and vulnerable. Ain wrapped his arms around Elsword, stroking his hair.

            After Elsword calmed down, he whispered, “Ain…” Ain gripped tighter in response. “It was me…I did it. I…killed him.” His voice was full of remorse and it trembled, scared. Elsword didn’t even need to explain who ‘him’ was. Ain knew that it must have been the hooded man from what Add had told him.

            “…Thank you, Elsword.”

            “Ain…that’s…that’s nothing to thank me for. I murdered a man…I’m a murderer, Ain. There isn’t a moment where I don’t hallucinate about what happened that night. I always see blood on my hands. It’s driving me insane. I can’t help but to think that what’s happened to me is retribution.”

            Ain slid his hands down to hold Elsword’s. “…But, your hands are warm. I see nothing but my own hands in yours. For my sake…you did it. For my sake, you saved me. And…” Ain pressed Elsword’s hands. “…I would rather have you alive than…dead.” Ain pondered for a minute and added, “And yes, I will still love you even if you killed someone. I realize…how much you do for me, Elsword. I cannot live without you.”

            Once again, Elsword’s eyes widened at Ain’s words. Since when had Ain matured and changed so much? Elsword smiled inside. He was glad that Ain could see more than that dingy hospital room. It may haven’t been much that he had seen, but perhaps to Ain, it was and meant a lot. Elsword could see it in Ain’s eyes. They were so bright and filled with colors of emotions. “Ain, there’s more that I need to tell you—”

            CRASH!

            What sounded like a medical trolley tipping over and metal tools and glass falling onto the floor interrupted Elsword. The noise was a bit far off but it was loud enough to stop people from what they were doing. A cold chill, sudden and sly, shivered and crawled over Elsword’s skin. Ain felt it too, though not as intense. Elsword turned his head as much as he could towards the noise and his heart sped up. Ain noticed Elsword’s behavior and gripped the handles of the wheel chair and pushed it down a different hallway as fast as he could.

            “Ain! What are you doing?!” Elsword yelped holding on as Ain dodged nurses and other obstacles.

            “You felt it, did you not? Your face is pale…something is wrong,” Ain replied, huffing. The elevator was in sight of the long hallway. Screams echoed behind them. Frantic, Ain continued to press the down button on the elevator. A sick laughter rung as slick and crashing noises accompanied it.

            “Oh no…” Elsword said in an almost nonexistent voice. The elevator opened to both of their reliefs. Ain dashed in with Elsword and pounded the ground floor button. At the end of the hallway, Elsword almost fainted in terror as he saw his bloodied sister staring at him with an insane cold glare that soon turned into a sickening twisted smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the part where Elsword gets up without Ain's help, he had a nurse help him and they both tried not to disturb Ain in his sleep.
> 
> I'm almost done with the story.


	18. The Colors He Sees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of this story.   
> Elesis does something unexpected. There is uncertainty everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays~

“Come on, come on come on—!” Elsword repeated darting his eyes from Ain smashing the floor button, towards his fast approaching sister. The sweat beaded on their foreheads and their heartbeats surged through their ears. “It won’t close in time!” Elsword’s quick thinking kicked in amidst the panic. “The closing door button! Ngh!” Elsword reached over causing the wheelchair to tip and fall but he managed to hit the “Close Doors” button of the elevator. Elsword’s and Ain’s hearts almost stopped as a loud metal thud made a dent in the doors before the elevator’s gears and ropes grinded as it descended. Both Ain and Elsword’s breaths came in raspy continuous puffs. Elsword laid on the floor, trying to regain his composure. It was only a minute more until they reached the ground floor, but the time seemed to stretch into uncertainty.

            Ain fixed up the wheelchair and hauled Elsword back in it. “Are you okay, Elsword?” Ain asked. He licked his dry lips and noticed that Elsword’s hands were trembling. He covered Elsword’s right hand with his own warm right hand.

            “To be honest…I’m not. I’m scared shi—I mean I’m really horrified, terrified, and so scared right now that you wouldn’t believe it. Actually, I sort of don’t believe what is happening right now and—”

            DING!

            The elevator pinged, and the doors opened. Bright lights blinded both and they attempted to shield their eyes.

            “FREEZE!” Several voices shouted. Upon hearing this, slow, Elsword rose his arms as his mind numbed from a stream of guilt that rushed through in that moment. Had he been caught? Did they find out? What was going to happen? Elsword’s body in fact, from all this feeling, felt frozen.

Ain was confused and just stood there with his arms lowering down to see. Their vision soon cleared. Before them were several swat force members armed with plastic shields and various equipment.

            “It’s not her,” One of the swat members stated. “You may lower your arms.” Upon hearing those words, Elsword’s heart calmed down again and he let out a sigh as he lowered his arms. This wasn’t going to last forever, but at least for now…

            “She is coming!” Ain shouted as he pushed Elsword out of the elevator with him behind. The doors closed, and the elevator ascended.

            “Quick, get behind us!” The swat force made a small gap for Ain and Elsword to pass through. From the entrance, they both saw flashing red and blue lights. They hadn’t noticed it until now, but helicopters and megaphoned voices were blaring outside. Ain didn’t want to take any chances, so he sped Elsword outside. Behind the throngs of swat men, they saw Chung waving at them. They headed towards him in somewhat of a daze of confusion.

            “Chung what the—what is going on?!” Elsword shouted so that he could be heard over the noise.

            “I called them here!” Chung shouted back. “While you were recovering, I tried to track down your sister! She ended up coming here-”

A small commotion from the swat force occurred. “She’s not in the elevator!” One of them shouted.

“Where is she?!” Another one shouted.

That cold feeling came creeping up Elsword’s skin again. He moved his gaze slow towards the right, then the left, and then up. Elesis glared straight into Elsword’s eyes. She stood perched up upon the railing that ran around the perimeter of the roof.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” She shrilled. Everyone else looked up.

“You have one minute to come down!” The swat force shouted.

“Hah! You’ll never catch me! Never, you bastards!” Elesis tilted forward.

“BIG SIS, NO!” Elsword screamed. In that split second as she began to fall, Elsword could have sworn that Elesis’s face flashed a gentle gaze and smile. That was all he saw before Ain covered his eyes. Ain himself shut his eyes tight. A thud noise came from the floor. The silence, save for the helicopter, wrapped around everyone’s ears. No one made a move. No one made a sound. Elsword’s emotions felt like a thin taut thread. Both ends were being pulled from different feelings. Elsword’s shaking hands held Ain’s hands in place. He whimpered, and everyone looked away or down towards the floor away from the bloodied mess. Ain’s hands damped from the tears that escaped Elsword’s eyes. Then, Elsword wailed as loud as he could, letting out all that was pent up in his chest. He continued to sob into Ain’s hands.

In a long quiet moment save for Elsword’s sobbing and the shuffling of feet, Elesis’s body was taken away and the area cleaned. But, Elsword refused to let go of Ain’s hands. “I don’t want to see and I don’t want to be alone…” Elsword murmured.

“I am here, Elsword. I promise,” Ain said as gentle as he could. Elsword let go and kept his eyes closed. Ain then turned his wheelchair away from the hospital. “You can look now.” Elsword opened his eyes and saw Chung looking at him with sadness.

“Let’s…go somewhere else,” Chung suggested. Ain followed Chung to the parking lot. Chung brought a van and the two loaded Elsword into it. Ain sat next to Elsword, holding his hand. Elsword had a dead look in his eyes much like the time when he killed the man in the eye sweater. Chung started the engine and drove away from the hospital.

In the middle of the drive, Elsword spoke. “…She was still my sister in the end,” he whispered as he held Ain’s hand tighter. “She’s not going to bother me anymore but…why this? Why does everything have to be like this?! Is this really happening?! Did it really happen…?” Elsword turned his head to look at Ain. His tears were beginning again. “Ain, I…” He held his free hand against his face. “I don’t know anymore. I just don’t…Ain…”

Ain felt so pained to see Elsword suffer so much. There wasn’t much he could do about anything. He pressed his forehead against Elsword’s hand.

After a while, Chung stopped. They were at another beach house that Chung owned. “Feel free to stay here,” Chung stated. He handed Ain keys to the house. “Elsword.” Elsword nodded. “I’m…truly sorry…for what’s happened. I know it’s not a good time…but here are the things that you told me to keep safe.” Chung handed Elsword a metal box. “I will deal and check with everything. For now, get some rest if you can.”

“Thanks…Chung,” Elsword said and attempted a smile. Chung smiled back, though pained, and drove away.

The inside of the house was already furnished and there was food. It was as if Chung knew something of some sort was going to happen. Ain placed Elsword onto a king-sized bed with fluffy blankets and pillows that resided in one of the bedrooms. “…Don’t leave me…please,” Elsword said as he gripped onto Ain’s wrist.

“Of course, not…Elsword,” Ain said as he climbed into bed with him. Ain then held Elsword close to his body.

“I’m sorry…Ain.”

“You did nothing wrong, Elsword.”

Elsword reached up and wiped the tears that streamed down Ain’s eyes. “I’m sorry that I made you cry…Ain.”

Ain hadn’t noticed at all. When did his tears began? He did feel stinging in them, but he guessed now they overflooded. Ain kissed Elsword’s forehead. “I am sorry that I cannot do much…”

Elsword shook his head. Ain’s embraced helped comfort and calm him as his mind tried to push to forget things. “…I feel so many things right now. It’s hard for me to describe. I should be feeling certain things…maybe not, I don’t know. I can’t stop crying. The tears won’t stop. So many things happened. I’m scared. I’m tired. I’m horrified. I’m devastated. I’m broken. I’m sad. I’m upset. I’m angry. I’m guilty. But…I’m also glad that you’re here with me, Ain. I don’t know what’s going to happen anymore. I love you, Ain. Know that I love you so much. I never know when I can’t tell you that anymore. I never know when I can touch or see you anymore. So…I…umm…I…” Elsword broke down and Ain stroked Elsword’s hair and head to calm him down. After a while, Elsword spoke again. “…Ain…?”

“…Yes, Elsword?”

A moment of silence passed. Elsword held one of Ain’s hands and placed something cold in it. Ain saw that it was a ring. “…Stay with me? I…don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose anything important anymore. I want you to be by my side always. I’m sorry for being so selfish with this.”

The ring glittered blue, white, and gold. Ain felt so entranced by the blue diamond. “Of course, Elsword,” Ain said without hesitation. He recalled that one couple in the park. Well, he would do anything Elsword asked of him anyways. But this time around, Ain knew more about things and he was conscious about his decision, wanting it deep in his heart as well. Ain kissed Elsword on the lips.

“Thank you, Ain.” Elsword slid his hand through Ain’s long hair. “That ring…I took it out of the box earlier…it belonged to my father. My sister wanted that ring to gain money.” Elsword paused as he tried to down his sorrow once more. “I’m sorry. I did a lot of bad things. I’m a bad person, Ain. Are you…still okay with that?”

“Elsword.” Ain’s tone was stern. “You are not bad.” He gave it more thought. “And you are definitely not selfish.”

“…I am, Ain. I stole from people for my own purposes. I killed…that man. I…”

“Elsword, I enjoyed my time that I spent with you and enjoy now as well. Before, when I was stuck, I knew nothing. And now one of the things I learned is that when you do things, Elsword, you always do it for a reason.”

Elsword’s mouth twisted in a half smile. “Ain, you’ve really changed for the better. Hah, yeah, you got me. I’m sorry, again. I needed the money or else they wouldn’t take care of you, Ain. And I couldn’t let that happen. Part time jobs weren’t enough.”

“So, all those times you were gone…?”

“Yeah…I was out…making money.”

“And your wounds and scars?”

“…I…you…remember what happened a while back, the reason why I’m in the hospital? That person did stuff like that to me but…” Elsword closed his eyes. “Most of the bruises, wounds, cuts, and scars…came from my sister.” His heart was tearing open again and a gush of tears came out again. “Why did she have to do that? I don’t want to believe it. And I feel terrible because I feel relieved that I won’t get hurt by her anymore yet…”

Ain squeezed Elsword. “…Perhaps is now time to rest.” Elsword nodded. “I love you very much too, Elsword,” Ain whispered. Elsword let the quiet tears fall as Ain stroked his hair until he fell asleep.

/-/-/

Elsword didn’t wake up until the afternoon of the next day. All the exhaustion from the previous day took a toll on him. He felt warm and comfortable in Ain’s warm embrace. It was too tempting to remain in here, safe and away from the whole world. However, Elsword gazed at the ceiling in deep thoughts, knowing that it wasn’t possible.

            “Ain,” Elsword called out soft.

            Ain stirred a bit before opening his eyes. “…Hmm?” Ain hummed. Ain saw purple bags under Elsword’s eyes. He couldn’t help but to reach over and stroke Elsword’s face.

            “…Sorry…but…as much as I want to stay…I need to go.”

            Ain paused and sat up. “Go?”

            Elsword’s gaze shifted downcast. “Mmm…Can you help me up?” Ain stared at Elsword for a bit before lifting him off the bed in his arms. He then carried him to his wheelchair and sat him down. “I’m sorry, Ain. It’s peaceful here and we could stay like this but…it isn’t right.”

            “What do you mean?”

            Elsword’s voice shook. “I’m…going to turn myself in after all, Ain.” A long silence stretched. Ain wanted to protest or say something, but he knew nothing would change Elsword’s mind. “Until then…will you wait for me?”

            Ain glided his hands over Elsword’s trembling hands. Ain couldn’t see Elsword’s face, but he knew that Elsword was mustering up all he had to pent up his tears and fears. “I would always and forever wait for you, Elsword.”

            The trembling lessened. “Thank you, Ain.” Elsword then kissed Ain’s hand with the glittering ring.

            Elsword called Chung and they remained silent as they waited for him to come.

-/-/

            “Are you sure about this?” Chung asked one last time as he stopped at the police station. “I’m still trying to figure things out. And maybe we can come up with a solution.”

            “I’m sure, thanks,” Elsword replied, determined and resolved. They helped him out of the van. When Ain made to push Elsword, Elsword held his hand up. “It’s okay. Let Chung help you out, okay?” Elsword smiled at Ain then turned and moved himself towards the entrance. Ain watched as Elsword entered the building. A strange feeling overcame him watching Elsword’s lone back that always had to carry all the burdens. Ain wanted to reach out, but he remained still, watching as the doors slid closed. Elsword wanted Ain to trust him and wait, so Ain decided to do just that.

-/-/-/

            Hours later, Elsword came back out looking defeated.

            “Elsword!” Ain exclaimed as he came running to him.

            “Ha…” Elsword muttered. Chung appeared behind him smiling. At one point in time, Chung himself had gone inside the building.

            “What happened?”

            “Well…” Elsword grimaced. “This guy here,” he pointed at Chung. “He tricked me and bailed me out. He already sorted out a lot of stuff with lawyers and well essentially money. But also, the testimonies from the gang labeled the…incident as self-defense. I tried to confess to all the theft crimes I committed but somehow it was twisted so that I was threatened to do all that even though I firmly tried to say I did it on my own free will. They just labeled me as mentally ill from all the abuse I received. They charged me a small fine for the “theft” I committed but Chung here paid it off just like that. It’s corrupt I tell you…everything messed up…I don’t feel good about this. I did wrong—I…”

            Ain held Elsword’s hands. He could tell that Elsword had been crying. “Then make it up now. Do good now.” Elsword looked so small as he gazed up at Ain. “…Is it selfish to say that I am glad I get to see you so soon?” Ain gripped Elsword’s hands tight.

            Elsword laughed a little. “It’s okay…I understand. Sorry for making you suffer again. I…don’t want to anymore. I want to be good. I hope you can still be patient with me. It might be a long time before I can fully heal from this whole ordeal. In fact…” Elsword choked up and sobbed again. Ain knelt and hugged him in which Elsword responded by holding on to him tight.

            The sun began to set, painting the scene brilliant colors of orange, red, and yellow.

            Perhaps one day, Elsword will be able to walk again. And perhaps, he may not recover a full healthy mental state. However, Ain knew things took time and even if it didn’t happen, Ain would love Elsword just the same. But, he resolved to himself that as Elsword colored his world, he too, would try to recolor Elsword’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is now finished~ Thank you very much to all who read, commented, supported etc.! I would like to know your thoughts~   
> 3rd classes are now here...I couldn't finish everything in time OTL I apologize for taking so long on this for that meant taking a longer time on other stories people wanted/suggested/requested me to write. Been in too many writers blocks and other stuff so I tried to improve on drawing in the mean time OTL  
> My next stories for AinEls will be:  
> (These two suggestions/ideas etc. were from lovely people here~)  
> A small oneshot of sorts of Elesis showing Ain baby Pictures of Elboy.  
> And an AU where Elboy has the Hanahaki disease.  
> I'm not sure if I will wait until the other classes come out at this time.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to say to those who had been reading and commenting etc. on my Ainels stuff, thank you very much!


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